Let's Play a Game // Monsta X FF

Game 007

"Last time, you said you hated me," Shownu said, knowing there was no turning back after this point. "Did you mean it? Do you actually hate me that much? Is that why you are so quiet and reserved, because you're just that angry?"

"You said you had something to tell me, but you are asking me questions." Kihyun answered, ignoring the questions. "They are two very different things."

Shownu could tell that Kihyun was showing no emotions to cover up his real emotions underneath. That thought hurt him more than anything, but he knew better than to say anything about it. Especially since he was the one who didn't want a fight.

"I do have something to tell you, I have to build up on it, so you'll understand."

"Then what makes you think I might be lying?" Kihyun said, ignoring the question again and referring to the previous ones, answering with another question of his own.

Shownu was getting tired of answering so many questions just to get to the main point, but he knew what he had to do. "Because you aren't the kind of person that would use 'hate' that easily." Shownu gulped. Every word from that sentence burned his lungs and stung his throat before coming out of his mouth, but that was a necessary sacrifice on his part. The only way to solve a problem is to actually look into it, no matter how difficult and scary it is. It was the same with math back at school.

"Well, I did hated you back then, but after staying away and calming down for a while, most of the anger is gone." Kihyun said, finally answering properly. "Isn't that how it works? I don't hold a grudge."

"Does that mean you forgive me?" It seemed that being straightforward is the easiest way to get a clear answer.

Kihyun sighed, pushing his bangs back with his right hand. Shownu followed every single movement. "No." Kihyun answered simply, not bothering to elaborate even though Shownu's frown hinted obviously that an explanation was required.

"If you're talking about us breaking up," Shownu had to pause at how painful those last words sounded, but he pushed on, trying to sound poised. "then answer again, because I'm talking about me bringing you here."

Kihyun placed his hands on his hips and closed his eyes, collecting himself. "I don't think I can forgive you for one thing but still hate you for another. You're still you, it doesn't work like that."

"I don't understand."

Kihyun chuckled as soon as Shownu finished the sentence. "Yea sure you don't." Kihyun was being mean, but after all that has happened, Shownu was starting to think he has the right to be mean. And he had no right to complain, since he considered a miracle that Kihyun hasn't started getting real angry and shouted yet.

Shownu was ready for an outburst, already anticipating for the worse and giving up on hoping. However, Kihyun sighed instead, and when he spoke again Shownu was surprised to hear a soft, quiet voice.

"Shownu-hyung," A stab of pain stroke through Shownu's heart. He didn't realize how long it had been since Kihyun called him with a soft voice like that. So long that it sounded foreign. "You don't understand, do you? It's ok, I'm going to tell you. It's better to get this out of the way anyways. You left me that day without an explanation. A proper explanation. It's like reading a book but realizing halfway through that half of the pages are missing, so you're left hanging like that. Do you get it? And then you joined this game, bringing me here thinking you're protecting me. Maybe you are, but have you ever thought about what I will feel? It feels like you're just pretending to care, because you left just like that."

Saying it was overwhelming would be an understatement. Shownu felt weird to hear Kihyun's perspective of the story, but he couldn't deny that he was relieved to finally get the answer he wanted from Kihyun.