You'll Never Know

An exhausting day

"She was raped" I stated what he already figured out but couldn't say aloud "A couple months ago, a week before she came here"

"Oh god" he said sitting down on a chair on the porch "how?who?"

"One of them was Grant, a member of my pack but he ran away as son as I found out. I have my best trackers searching for him." But Cole wasn't listening

"One of them?" He said in a barely audible voice "How many?" he looked up at me when I didn't answer "how many?"

"Three" I said and ignored his shock look. "look I'm only telling you this because...Even though Alex stopped crying she's just...she's not talking to me, she's just staring off into space. And I don't think taking you away from her would be helpful right now"

Cole nodded and took a deep breath with his eyes closed and then opened them as he exhaled "Okay, okay I get it. What do we do?"

"Well-" 

 Alexs P.O.V.

It was all my fault, I had finally admitted to it. Everything was my fault; being raped, being such a mess. I couldn't do anything without freaking out. What was the point? I was torturing myself and everyone around me.

I was so useless, paetic and...freaking weak. And I was sick of it. I walked to the bathroom and washed my face, I could see my eyes were red and puffy from crying and it made me sick. 

I froze as I saw the razor and a thought that hadn't crossed my mind for months came to me. Wouldn't it be easier if I was just dead. It would be easier for everyone; Logan, El, and Kyle wouldn't have to walk on eggshells around me. It would be much easier. I took the razor with me to my room and sat cross-legged on the bed with it in my hands.

Two cuts, that's all it would take. Two cuts deep enough and all of this would end. I raised the razor to my left wrist. When I suddenly thought of how people would react. It would be selfish of me to do this. No matter how much I wanted to I owed it  them.

"Hey Alex look who...What the hell are you going?" Before I could even have time to hide the razor I felt it taken out of my hand and two hands grabbing my shoulders.

"What were you thinking Alex?" Kyle said shaking me "What were you trying to do? Did you really think this would solve anything? Huh? Answer me!!" He said as he shook me harder. My eyes widened as I saw his blacken 

"Kyle calm down" I heard Cole's voice say from behind Kyle, I hadn't even noticed he was in 

"No, no no " Kyle said "I am not letting you destroy yourself like this Alex, no." he said and his voice broke "I am not losing you. Do you hear me?"

I didn't answer and just stared at him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting me go and turning around "keep an eye on her" he said to Cole and left. I stared at Cole, feeling all the color drain from my face 

"h-he" I said, my voice shaking, not believing I didn't notice this before as I recalled all the growling and  weird things he did "He's l-like you isn't he?"

"yeah" Cole said "he's a werewolf"

"B-but" I said but before I could continue we heard crashing sounds and Cole and I immediately ran towards the sound which turned out to be from Kyle's room.

I gasped as Cole opened the door and I saw what was there. Kyle's room was a mess, everything was broken on the floor and he was kicking and punching the walls. He stopped when he sensed someone in the room with him and turned around and I gasped when I saw his eyes were all black.

"Okay, Alex you need to listen very carefully to me" Cole said stepping as far away from me as possible "He's not going to calm down without your help"

"what?" 

"Remember what I told you in the park? About losing control?" he said just as carefully as Kyle kept staring at me.

"Y-yes"

"He won't be able to calm down without you. So I need you to go to him slowly, and hug him" I gasped and broke my eye contact with Kyle to look at Cole gaining a growl from Kyle.

"no no no don't look at me. Don't even glance my way" Cole said and I immediately looked at Kyle again "You need to do this Alex, only you can do this"

"O-okay" I said and took a small step forward. Kyle didn't make any reaction but his eyes were glued to me. I small, slow steps until I was right infront of Kyle. I slowly inched my hands around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

Kyle stayed still for a while before he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. He ran his nose from my jaw to the base of my neck, taking a huge breath. his arms around me relaxed a bit but tightened as I tried to move away. I gave out a cry of surprise when I was suddenly lifted off the floor bridal-style and carried to the bed.

Kyle held me close to him as we lay on the bed and didn't say anything the entire time, I sighed and started trailing my hand on his chest gaining a purring sound from him. I registered the sound of the door closing and knew Cole had left. I closed my eyes and let sleep overcome me, the exhaustion of he day finally catching up with me