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TRIGGER WARNING

vanessa

you guys i just couldn't take the fake-ness anymore. i can't sit there and pretend that i don't have a crush on my best friend, while we're in front of her BOYFRIEND . so i had to leave . if i didn't i would've just sat there and cried about it. then madelaine would ask me if i'm okay and i would have to lie to her and it's all just getting the best of me . but i'm just suppressing it even more by the day.

as soon as i got home, i changed into something more comfortable and i locked myself in the bathroom . i took out a box cutter because i didn't have a straight razor and i cut myself on the thigh . mads would never see it . it's too high up so my shorts would cover it . i watch the blood as it runs down my leg and i got lost in my thoughts .

"VANESSA?!" i heard coming from downstairs.

i didn't answer. i just stayed quiet and tried to clean things up. i didn't want to give up where i was by answering her.

"where the hell is she?" i heard madelaine say. she's close to the bathroom .

"what?" i said as i swung open the bathroom door.

"can we talk please?" she said .

i walked out of the bathroom and went into our room. i laid down and she laid down next to me.

"sooo what was that at lunch?" she said facing me.

"well for starters, we're calling it lunch when it's clearly dinner ... it's 9:00 . and we went to get tea instead of real food. i think that will put anyone in a bad mood." i said picking up my phone and scrolling through instagram .

she snatched my phone out of my hand and said, "stop with the jokes and tell me what's really going on."

she looked me right in my eyes . i know her eyes saw right through me. it felt like her eyes were piercing my soul but i couldn't bare to tell her the truth .

      "nothing, i just wasn't feeling good." i say coving my whole body with the covers . i feel cher— madelaine oops, i feel her scoot down to me . i know she's going to try to make me laugh .

      "i'm in your face, i suggest you tell me what's wrong, or i'm going to tickle you." she threatens

      "fine. only because you know i hate when you tickle me." i uncovered myself and sat up to look at her.

      "good now tell me what's wrong."

      ".... NEVER !!!" i shot up out the bed and ran into the living room. i know madelaine isn't far behind me so i try to lock a few doors. as she cane into the living room i'm standing on the couch.

      "either you can get down, or i can get you down. your choice." i gave her a mischievous look. i wanted to challenge her.

      "you get me down." i said .

      she came up to me and wrapped her arms around my thighs . it hurts so bad i accidentally screamed on accident.

      "what? i didn't do anything yet." she said looking concerned .

      "it's nothing, i just need to sit down." i sat down and motioned for her to sit down beside me. "i'm sorry for acting like that, i don't know what came over me." i said

      "it's fine, but if something is bothering you, you know you can talk to me about anything. that's what friends are for."

      ugh friends . i pained hearing that word coming from her mouth. friends . f-r-i-e-n-d-s . as i'm deep in my thoughts i hear madelaine say "vanessa what the hell is that?" i see her pointing at a stain on my shorts where blood is seeping through . i swear it was done bleeding . maybe the running triggered it.

      "umm ketchup?" i said .

      the look she gave me broke my heart as if she was disappointed in me . she started to cry . i quickly tried to pull her into a hug .

      "nessa did i hurt you? if i made you bump into anything while you were running i'm so sorry—" i stopped her right there .

      "you didn't hurt me madelaine. it—it's a cut. i cut myself because i'm hurting internally." i told her with a single tear falling from my eye.

      she started to cry harder . "why are you hurting?"

      "because someone that i love doesn't love me back." by this time i'm now sobbing .

      "do i know this person? because i'll hurt them. i promise. let's go find them." she said standing up

      i grabbed her arm "no there's no need for you to do that, this person is closer than you think."

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i loooove drama 🙂 sorry for the shitty chapter.

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