Goodbye

Hey guys! Its Macie! This story is about suicide and stuff. Im not this way.. but I just wanted to write this😛 Alright enjoyy!

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CHAPTER 1

I put the razor down, and stared at my newly made cuts across my wrist. I felt dried tears on my face. I slid the razor across my wrist once more. I put the razor away, for next time. I was depressed. All I could think of was the pictures. The pictures people found. The pictures that ruined my life. I couldn't think of anything else but that. I felt tears fall down my eyes. My life would never be the same.

I went to school the next day. It was finally the last day of school. Everyone bullied me, and I didn't want to go through that today. I skipped most of my classes, like always. Nobody really knows about my depression. Nobody cares. I lost all my friends. Most of them bully me now.

I got home from school. I ran upstairs and decided I should write on myself. I got a black sharpie and wrote, "what now" on my legs. I just sat there, and didn't think my life was that bad, but it was. My pictures were on the internet. That was all that was on my mind.

It was the first day of summer, not so exciting. That means I would get cyber bullied. Honestly, I just wanted this all to end, and soon it will end. Soon. I cant wait for that day to come.

I sit in my dark bedroom, looking around. I grabbed my laptop, where all the magic happens. I opened it and clicked a website. Facebook. I checked everything and I found something. They made another rumor. "I never slept with anyone!" I said. I cant believe they made another rumor, and this one doesn't even make sense! Nobody likes me, why would someone sleep with me? Tears streamed down my face, I thought this was it.

I grabbed the same razor I used from the last time. I didn't care if it was dirty. I slid it across my wrist several times. I stopped and cried. I cried. Why? Why do they do this? I threw the razor across the room. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to breathe. I just wanted to die. I didn't want my life to go on anymore.

*1 WEEK LATER*

I sat in the hospital bed. I attempted suicide. Why did they have to catch me? I just wanted to die. They wouldn't care. I felt my face. I had dry tears on my face. I stared at my wrists. Bandages all over. I cant wait to leave.

CHAPTER 2

I just got out of the hospital. They took away anything I would use to hurt myself. Why cant they just let me die? Thats all I wanted. I know I would find something to hurt myself with. I would just have to hide it. I dug under my pillow and searched for a piece of paper. I got it and pulled it out. It was my suicide note. It said,"If you find this, I committed suicide. You should know that." I cried.

The next day, I found scissors. I don't know how I would use them, but I figured out a way. I didn't want to think about it. I fell asleep. Just thinking about my pictures made me sick. Sleep was the only option now.

I woke up really late. I walked downstairs, and ate. I promised myself I would starve myself, but I just had to eat something. I left the house and went for a walk. These kids started throwing rocks or something at me. I ran home crying. I thought I was weak and useless. I didn't leave my house for the rest of the day. I didn't want anyone to see me. I wanted to be dead. For the rest of the summer I slept.

*SCHOOL STARTS*

I went back to school. I found a razor in my garage. I just use that to cut myself. Nobody knows.

When I walk in my 2nd period, everyone just stared at me. I felt insecure. I just walked to the back of the classroom and sat at an empty desk. I put my head down and closed my eyes. I wasn't going to sleep, I was just day dreaming. I picked my head up and saw that class started. I ignored my surroundings. I didn't want to look at anyone. I heard the bell ring and ran out of the classroom. I skipped all the rest of the classes.

CHAPTER 3

I skipped school the next day. I didn't want to deal with it. My mom walked in. "Someone is here to see you." she whispered. "Okay, I will be down in a minute." I said. I walked downstairs and I see 3 girls just standing there. I came up to the door and said hi. I asked them there names and the brown haired girl said her name was Julie. The blonde haired girl said her name was Maria. They said hi. We became friends and they were so nice to me. They were the only people I could talk to.

They had to go home so they walked home. I went back up to my room with a half smile on my face. I was actually happy! I just made a friend. I went on my computer and I clicked on Facebook. I friended them on Facebook. I was so happy, but there was one question in my head. Why would they want to be friends with me?

I went to school the next day. They were in my class. Im in 9th grade now and so are they. I sat next to Julie. She was so nice to me, but Maria was unusual. She wasn't like she was yesterday at my house. She was acting different, but Julie was really nice. I didn't know if I could talk to her about my cutting yet or not.

The bell rang and me and Julie walked out of the class with everyone else. We started talking. "So, do you have any friends here?" Julie said. "No, you are the only one I have actually." I said. "Oh." she said. We had most classes together so we walked together. "Do you have a lot of friends here?" I asked. "Well, not much actually." she said. "Oh." I said. The last bell finally rang. I walked home.

CHAPTER 4

The next day, which was Saturday, Julie and Maria come to my house. They came up to my room. "Hi!" I said. "Hey." they said. "I have something to tell you guys." I said. "Yea, sure. You can tell us anything." Maria said. "Okay, well I have been cutting, and I didn't tell anyone but you guys." I said. They had blank expressions. I just stared at the ceiling, waiting for a response. Maria whispered something in Julie's ear and they got up and left the room. I said, "Wait, where are you going?" They just kept walking. Julie texted me and said, "Sorry about Maria." I didn't answer it.

The next day was Sunday. I stayed up in my room the whole day. I didn't feel like dealing with anything or anyone for that matter. I heard a knock at my door. I walked downstairs to answer it. It was Julie. I said, "Hey Julie." "Hi." she said. "So, why are you here." "Well, Maria posted on Facebook that you cut yourself. Now its everywhere. Im so sorry. Im not her friend anymore." she said. A tear slipped down my face. I slammed the door and ran up to my room. I checked my Facebook.

I was getting so much hate. "You cut? Attention seeker!" "Your so ugly and anorexic" "Ew, you need to kill yourself" everyone said. I slammed my laptop shut and sat there crying. I grabbed my laptop and turned on the camera. I made a suicide video. I posted the video. I got the paper under my pillow and re-read it over and over.

I ran into my bathroom and quickly grabbed the pills I had. I took a few but before I did that, I prayed. I took the pills. It took a while for my to drift off into my own little world. I felt someone shaking me, but I drifted on into space. Dried tears were stained on my face. The words die and worthless written across my arms. Dried blood on my wrists. I knew this was it. I was gone.

I had nobody. I committed suicide. Everyone wanted that. I just wanted it to end. And it did.

The last words I would say, the last breath I would take, the last step I would walk, but most of all, the last goodbye I would say.