You Don't Know What It's Like

Anorexia

I have been best friends with the same sweet girl since elementary school. Stephanie and I were in the same class and immediately found that we had lots in common. She's very beautiful, talented, a wonderful dancer and singer. We would have sleepovers, laugh, dress up as monsters, all sorts of fun stuff. Everything was great. Life was amazing and happy, and we were both happy and healthy. She had always been average height and weight wise, while I've been more on the heavier side of average. But it's okay, I've accepted how I look and it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. One day, we were at lunch in middle school and she told me that she was trying to eat healthier. I thought it was kind of strange that she would say that because to me she looks great how she is, but I just said "okay". This kind of behavior continued, and I would text her every afternoon and she would just say something like "I can't talk right now, I'm going on a run" or "talk to you later I'm riding my bike". This made me sort of suspicious. I was thinking that maybe she had recently taken an interest in sports and enjoyed exercising. Then, I invited her over for a sleepover. When she arrived, I told her that my dad was making dinner. He's a wonderful cook and she normally would get super excited about his cooking. This time, she just said "oh I already ate dinner at home". This completely shocked me. I began to get frustrated because I could tell that she was lying to me. I couldn't understand why she would choose not to eat. She loves my dad's cooking. We continued with our normal activities and sat down for a movie. My mom bought white cheddar popcorn at the store specifically for Stephanie since it's her favorite. She refused to eat it. This immediately sent up a red flag to me. Something was definitely wrong. I actually started to fear for my best friend's life. Middle school kids shouldn't have to worry that much about their friends. I told her I was going to the bathroom. While I was in there, I googled some of the signs of anorexia. As I was reading through the list, I began to cry. My best friend might have an eating disorder. I couldn't understand why she would do that to herself, she's so beautiful and talented! She definitely doesn't need to lose weight! She's nowhere near being fat. I don't want to lose my best friend. When I left the bathroom, she noticed that I was crying. She immediately said, "what's wrong?" And I said "Stephanie please talk to me. Are you starving yourself?" And her eyes widened with fear that I knew the truth. She looked down, and then pushed past me and ran down the steps. She opened the door to go outside and before going, she said "I'm sorry". I bursted into tears. It was true. It was really true. I don't want my best friend to die before she even starts high school. How could she even see herself as needing to lose weight? It doesn't make any sense. I weigh more than she does too. Does that make me really fat? Please Stephanie. You need to take care of your body or else you won't get to see me anymore. Would you rather make an effort to get better, or would you rather let yourself die in an effort to lose the "fat" on your body, never seeing any of your friends, family, or pets ever again? Please eat. For me.