Unthinkable

Chapter 1~ Changes

"You alright little duck?" I ask worriedly. She nods and forces a smile. No she isn't. That's not my Prim. My Prim doesn't have to make herself smile. I sigh and stand up straight again, removing my arm from her tense shoulders.

"Alright," I mumble. I feel a large hand grab my small one and snap my head in Gale's direction. He grins as lightheartedly as he can and I glimpse at our hands as he adjust them by entwining our fingers together.

"She's okay Catnip," he whispers as we ride up on the Victors' Village sign. All chatter from my mom and Prim halts as well as Gale and I's. My mother steps forward, taking lead of the group since she has the address. It isn't long before we've reached the gigantic house. My mother then unlocks the door and we step in.

All you can really say is that it is a pristine house with fancy luxuries, plush furniture, and stocked cabinets of food.

We all gasp, drawing in a quick breath and struggling to exhale in our amazement. It is unusual to see something this fine in district twelve. Quite frankly, I didn't know things like this even existed without proof. Though here it is, and I hate it. It isn't at all home. I already feel like a Capitol citizen. Home is oddly where I have to hunt for food and fight to stay alive. I felt more at home in the games than I do now. I already know that I won't be spending much time here. I suddenly feel as if I am enclosed in a small room containing air that isn't breathable. I need to escape.

I let go of Gale's hand and turn around before making a run for the meadow. The tight Capitol slippers on my feet make it hard to run, but I can't stop to take them off. Gale is right behind me, probably ready to carry me back to that place. I run through the Victor's Village welcoming sign and pass my old home. Although the slippers slow me down, I am still fast. I practically leap through the hole in the fence once I get there. My dress flows in the wind, trailing behind me in the muddy grass. I finally reach the woods and place my toe on the limb of the first tree that I spot. Just as I straighten my leg to boost myself up, someone grabs my waist, dragging me away.

I thrash around in Gale's arms, kicking and screaming. I can't go back there! I snap my head to the left and place my teeth against his shoulder before biting down on it. He cried out in pain and uses his chin to turn my head away. With my fake Capitol nails, I claw him on the side of his arm and watch blood trickle down it as he jerks away, screaming in agony caused by a girl gone mentally insane. He drops me and quickly begins to explain himself.

"I'm not taking you back there," he says as calmly as possible as I am rising to my feet, ready to run again. I stop dead in my tracks though. Something in his voice makes me believe him.

"Oh," I mumble as my cheeks become a deep velvet. I remove my feet from my slippers before sitting down as he joins me.

"I just wanted you to sit with me, I guess. I knew if you got in that tree you wouldn't ever come down and I'd rather sit here than up there. Honestly, I don't wanna go back to your new 'home' either and I'm glad you made the first move of escaping," he laughs. I become even more embarrassed and carelessly lean my head against his shoulder so he can't see. I begin to think of how much things have already changed. Like a ton of bricks pounding down on me suddenly, the realization that things will never be the same strikes me. It doesn't take much longer before I feel a single tear run down my cheek, then another, one more . . . I begin to sob.

Gale pulls me into his lap and begins to hush me. He wipes away the incessant flow of tears sliding down my cheeks. My head starts throbbing as images enter my mind of the games. Through tears, I blearily see Rue helplessly tangled in a net with a spear in her stomach, dead. My entire body seems to shrivel up before shaking and I let out a horrid scream. Gale pulls me closer against his chest and I bury my face into his soaked shirt, sticky with sweat.