RAISON D'ÊTRE ( bucky barnes ) 一 under editing

TWENTIETH

"Rome." She nearly jumped when she heard Bucky call out her name, and she straightened her back, tossing a glance over her shoulder. The brunet man was sitting up in bed, rubbing at his eyes, and the blankets had fallen into his lap. "What are you doing?"

"Working," she supplied, shaking her head and continuing to write. "You can keep sleeping, I'll wake you later."

"You should take a break," Bucky said, and she nearly sighed. This wasn't the first time she'd heard him say that, always saying it when he noticed how visibly upset Rome was. Even with her back turned, he could see the tension in her body.

But the blonde shook her head. "I can't," she said, flipping the page so she could keep writing. She leaned over the counter of the kitchen, back arching. "Who knows how much closer I could be to figuring this out?" A part of her had to admit that she might be driving herself crazy but she couldn't stop.

She heard the floorboards creaking beneath his footsteps before she felt the warmth of his chest against her back. Bucky plucked the pen from her fingers, maneuvering around her to shut the grimoire closed. Then with his hands on her hips, Bucky turned Rome around so they were facing each other. They were standing close, noses brushing against one another as he peered down at her. "When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Rome asked, her hands moving to grab at his upper arms. There'd been several times where she'd wake up from his thrashing, feet kicking at the blankets and breathes coming out heavy. Sometimes she'd wake him up if they were too intense, and other times she'd hold him close and stroke her fingers through his hair. He didn't respond for a moment, and she took this as an opportunity to continue. "Did you have another nightmare last night?"

Bucky nodded solemnly. "HYDRA..." he trailed off immediately and looked down. 

She didn't understand why he still thought it embarrassing. They'd both gone through enough trauma because of HYDRA, and she didn't find it shameful to have nightmares or panic attacks because of it. Rome pushed herself up onto her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. "It's all right," she said, cupping his face. "We're not there anymore, and they're gone. They can't find us."

"I know," he said. Still holding her within his arms, Bucky craned his neck around to look at their apartment. It looked sad, so despairingly sad, and he knew that. He knew she knew that, and it broke his heart. Bucky wanted so badly to be able to give his love the kind of life she deserved, but as long as they were both criminals on the run, there wasn't anything he could do. He sighed, pressing his forehead against Rome's. "This isn't what I wanted for us. This isn't the life I wanted to give you." Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the newspaper covered windows and sighed again. "You don't deserve this, Rome, any of this and I hate that."

Rome bowed her head and felt him kiss the top of her head, pulling her closer into his embrace. Her ear was pressed against his chest, and she could hear the gentle thump of his heart. "What did you imagine?" she asked quietly, smiling as she moved her hands to wrap around his waist. "Go on, tell me. What is the life that you want for us?"

Bucky smiled. "We don't live in poverty... or on chips and candy bars..." He looked over at the cabinets, knowing how many chip bags lay unopened, and the number of small microwavable foods sitting in the fridge. "We live in this beautiful home with a big yard and... the typical white picket fence, and... and we're happy. HYDRA isn't out to get us and we can live our own lives. We're not fugitives running for our lives, we're not hiding from anyone. We're just us."

Nodding her head, Rome smiled. "Go on."

"Maybe... maybe we'd even have a family," he murmured, not noticing the way Rome looked up at him. They've talked about their futures together several times, but the topic of children has always been something they've avoided altogether. It's not because they hate children or anything 一 in fact, Rome adores children and Bucky thinks he used to like them too 一 but rather that it's a bit difficult to imagine having a child when you're running for life and looking over your shoulder twenty-four-seven. But Rome remained silent and allowed him to continue. "It's not very big but not small either. You're a good and kind mother, always smiling and laughing." He pulled away just enough to see her blushing face. "The life I want for us is a happy one, one where we don't suffer."

It sounded beautiful, a lovely idyllic dream that Rome would absolutely adore. "I like that," Rome whispered, moving to wrap her arms around his neck and she smiled. She pulled him down to her height and pressed her lips against his.

A/N: y'all these two need some
love before the shit storm that
is going to happen (aka captain
america: civil war)