Reason

•Reason Intro•

It's the early hours of the morning, I'm running away from them, in hopes to spot a roadside anywhere nearby, as I'm freezing I can literally feel my bones and every vein in me I should've considered the weather when I was able to escape from hell. As I I look back it's clear but looking forward I face the floor as I trip over a huge log, and the pain intensifies as the cold and my freezing body are not helping with easing the pain.
I try to sit up, flinching in pain, I wish my Mom was here, she would know what to do, and that where my eyes feel the warmth of the tears that are about to flood my face, and right there is where I decide to be hard on myself because crying is not really helping
"I am Laura Woods and there is a reason I got here let I share with you before they get to me".

"Earth to Tanya hello"
She's waving her hand in my face, and I realize I went out of earth again, earth sucks and to whoever created it I don't get why they brought me here, because really it's like a merry-go-round that doesn't stop but it just has different people as it spins around
"Sorry, I was just thinking about my little brother"
"What!, we have a test in 15 minutes and you are thinking about someone else?"
"Let's go to class"
The person I deal with on a daily, her Pam
Has zero care of anyone but herself, sometimes I wish I were her, living my life with no care of whatever or whoever in this world, but unlike her I am responsible, and as much as she doesn't agree we are two totally different beings.
I am Tanya James I'm seeking a reason why I exist, let I find that out with you.

"Just one more pull, and I'm for sure I'll quit this time".
"Argh you always say that, just give up already" he say's in annoyance, my friend Jared
"I sure as hell will quit, one day, I just don't understand why I can't stop myself,I should stop hanging out with you"
He laughs in a motion that alerts me that he is high, and he also doesn't believe what I just said,
"You think"? He finally gets to say
And I pull once more before I nod
"You don't want to stop, and that's not helping"
"Bruh you should make up your mind already, I mean I'm not the one visiting you, and I didn't force you to smoke, I never do, you can't blame me."
I start thinking deep and in my own world I heard him and he's right, maybe I don't wanna stop
Maybe there's a reason why I want to get high, and for a moment it feels right, I feel that I'm giving myself my attention and in the right way possible, why do I want to stop?, nobody forced me to start and nobody is forcing me to stop, why do I deprive myself of what seems to make sense to me?
I'm Ziyaad Jacobs and I'm in the middle of either finding the right reason or accepting the reason I believe is right, take a journey with me as we define what Reason is or what it's supposed to be.