The Art of Infatuation ~ #TKBMovieContest

The Art of Infatuation

It's not fair that he's so perfect.

It's not fair every other girl at Malcolm High School practically drools when he breathes.

What's most annoying is that I'm just one of the mob.

I didn't want this to happen. I would have been perfectly content snuggled up in my bed obsessing over fictional boys. I didn't have to agonize over whether or not they were real; they weren't. It didn't tease me.

But Brian Kelsing is real. His cute band T's are real. His shaggy brown hair is real. His enticing, mysterious green eyes are all real real real. 

I know it's pointless, but there's still that part of me that hopes. Because Brian Kelsing isn't fictional, and in some distant parallel universe, we might actually end up together.

It's a beautifully irritating feeling.

This isn't love, right? Crushes and love...it's supposed to be such a clear distinction. It's not. For me at least. They should have made a darn handbook.

Because the butterflies just can't help themselves.

I remember, a month or so ago, we'd done an English project together on Romeo and Juliet. We had to change and act out a scene. He was just so adorably funny.

"Abby, Abby, I've got another idea!" And I smiled at him, because he'd come up with so many silly ones already

"What?"

"What if Romeo is down below Juliet's balcony, and he starts throwing pebbles at the window. But then Juliet comes out, and he accidentally throws a rock and it hits her in the face."

I giggled. "Yes! And Juliet can be so super pissed off, and slam the door in his face, so Romeo has to try and coax her out again. But then he ends up throwing a rock through her window."

"Oh my God, yes! We are making this so much better than the original!"

And we laughed and we brainstormed. Everything was absolutely perfect. But we haven't talked much since then.

Somehow, I almost sort of like this silent obsession. It's fun to sneak glances at him in the hallways and wonder all night if he caught me looking.

It makes life a little more exciting, a little less mundane. It gives me something to think and laugh and talk about.

But Brian is different, more somehow. Thinking of him makes me want to double over and grin. To laugh my heart out and blush myself silly. It gets my heart to desire things it never has before.

I want him to know the real me.

And I want to know him.

So, after months and months, I finally decide to work up the courage and confess. I have to try. 

"I'm sorry, Abby, I don't feel the same way." He kind of looks sympathetic, but his tone is so  monotonous.

So I smile. " I understand." And then I leave.

A single tear falls down my cheek, and I realize how silly I was.

You can't love an infatuation. You're only asking for heartbreak.