Rachel's PoV
I'm just sitting outside the hospital door staring into space. I just want to disappear because nobody cares about me right. You know Kirstie was only saying that she cared. A voice said in my head. "Shut up" I said to myself.
"Rachel" I hear Kirstie's voice I stand up and I look at her and James rushing over to me.
"O my gosh your face" Kirstie says bringing me into a hug
"I have missed you" I whisper
"Me to" Kirstie whispers back
"No she hasn't" the voice says in my head but ignore it.
"Hey lil sis" James says
"Wait your not mad at me anymore" I ask both Kirstie and James and they shake there heads no.
"We understand everything and we explained to the other boys and they all understand. You were just trying to protect Brad. We missed you" James says bringing me into a hug.
"Are the rest of the boys coming" I ask
"they said they would come tomorrow but to keep them updated. They are both on holiday at the. Moment and the next flight home is tomorrow" James reply's and I nod.
"Let's go inside" i say quietly. I don't know what to say to them. Like I know they are my best friends but i have missed so much.
We walk into the hospital and I tell them to go ahead and I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I walk to the bathroom and see a youngish nurse I grab her hand.
"Can you tell me what's happening with Bradley Will Simpson please" I ask
"Are you family" she asks
"I'm his girlfriend so please tell me what's happening" I beg her and tears fall from my eyes.
"Okay" the nurse says
"We had a scan for bleeding on the brain and there wasn't so thank goodness. But he went into cardiac arrest but we were able to get him back" nurse says
"Are you saying his heart stopped" I ask tears falling from my eyes. She nods
"You nearly killed Brad but you might still. It's all your fault" a voice says in my head
"I can't do this I'm sorry" I say standing up and walking over to Anne Marie and Derek and Nat.
"I just want to say I'm so so sorry. This is all my fault. I'm going to go Okay. I can't be here knowing it's my fault. Just tell Brad if he wakes up I'm sorry and I will always love him" I say tears falling from my eyes and get up and walk out of the hospital really quickly.
"Rachel wait" I hear Anne Marie's voice
"You have to stay. Rachel Brad needs you he needs to know your hear" Anne Marie says holding my hands. Myself trying to avoice eye contact.
"He doesn't need you" the voice appears again
"He doesn't need me. I put him in that hospital. His heart stopped because of me" I say
"No you never Alex did" Anne Marie says tears falling from her eyes.
"But he was protecting me" I say tears falling from my eyes
"Rach you should know Brad by now he will always protect you" Anne Marie says bringing me into a hug.
"But im rubbish at protecting him" I say as we both cry to each other.
