Samsāra

Chapter Nine

'After that what next? I die. I don't want to die; I want to see my mother again. I want to eat cheetos again and record silly videos with Juliana. I want a piggy back ride from my uncle though I'm too grown up for that.' She was crying now, her voice wobbling as tears streamed down her face. 'I want to go to college and graduate. I want to get a job, find a guy I like and that likes me back and maybe marry him. I want my father to come home and I want to be there when he does. I'm not being selfish. Am I?'

Rudra gazed at her sadly. 'There is nothing I say at this moment that will make you happy or replace what you've left behind. But I can assure you; you will find happiness here as well as love.'

A gentle hand caressed her hair and was gone in the next moment.

The next day the summons from Rajamata Sivagami came and her chambermaids bustled about a seated Ajiona, choosing and dismissing saris picking out jewellery and debating on hairstyles. At the end when the polished silver mirror was handed to her, Ajiona thought she looked like a princess and wondered if it was necessary to dress her so. Though she had been looking forward to this day ever since she was conscious and able to think rationally, she felt like a lamb headed for slaughter. She took little relief that Gandhari was going to be with her and instead of all her maids accompanying her, she selected Mekhala and Pragya.

Tinkling with every step as a result of her jewelleries, the messenger led the way to the rajamata's apartment. Gandhari clicked her tongue and murmured nervously to herself but was otherwise silent as were Mekhala and Pragya. Ajiona was preoccupied with her own thoughts; she remembered her meeting with Rudra yesterday night and was conflicted about what she should feel. She felt angry at him even though she voluntarily placed her hand in his that fateful day, she also felt unsure. Rudra had explained what role she was to play in selected words that didn't reveal all the information and despite her desire to go back home if it was truly her fate, shouldn't she gracious accept what has been dealt to her? And die without accomplishing anything? Ajiona had always prided herself as being unselfish but in this case she wanted to be selfish, damn what anyone thought. She hated fate, it was restrictive but she also wanted to help. Thus, with a warring heart she went to the Rajamata's apartment.

The guards made them wait in the antechamber for a while; Gandhari fussed anxiously, rearranging Ajiona's jewelleries and sari while they waited until Ajiona took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly with a smile. Rajamata Sivagami is known for her fierce temper, Gandhari had said a few months ago. She is kind and compassionate and also an astute woman but it will not be wise to cross her. They were led into the receiving room into a corner as the Rajamata on her gilded chair with the lioness backrest listen to supplicants.

Supplicant and supplicant came and went and Ajiona and her entourage were left ignored in the corner. Mekhala and Pragya fidgeted on their feet but did not grumble. Gandhari was as still as a statue but her eyes roved nervously about the room, Ajiona instead listened to what the conversations taking place between the Rajamata and the supplicants. It felt like an hour had passed when they were motioned to come forward. The rest of the supplicants were dismissed as well as guards, the queen mother was able to protect herself. Gandhari led them and she bowed deeply when she was within range, the others followed her lead.

'Rajamata...' she began.

'What's your name?' Rajamata cut in, speaking directly to Ajiona. It took her by surprise, she was under the impression that the Rajamata thought she was unable to speak their language. She considered keeping up the charade but dismissed that when she saw the sharp looking in the queen mother's eyes. She realised she could never deceive this woman, she was very intelligent.

'Ajiona, Devi.' She heard the gasps of Mekhala and Pragya and the disbelieving look Gandhari was shooting her way. She went on. 'It was never my intention to deceive anyone Rajamata, as a stranger in a strange land it was simply the best way to learn. If there is any punishment for this, I will gladly bear it.'

'Two weeks ago, your teacher reported to me that you couldn't speak at all, at least not in a cohesive way. Five months ago we could all understand you clearly, yet your teacher swore you couldn't speak even the rajavaidya reported your confusion when he spoke to you. What a dilemma.'

'Up till three months ago, I could not speak and be understood. My decision to keep my knowledge quiet was solely mine and I bear all responsibility. My teacher had no inkling of my deception and continued to teach me with the utmost patience. As Rajamata had pointed out, at the trial five months ago when I stood accused, everyone heard me speak. How I did I do not know and I can only think the gods knew my innocence and put the words to defend myself in my mouth.' Ajiona went silent and peeked at Rajamata, her eyes had the glint of amusement and she looked impressed.

'So what land are you from stranger?'

Ajiona inhaled and exhaled, this was the tricky part. 'From the future Rajamata,' she answered.

Rajamata Sivagami didn't look impressed anymore, rather insulted. 'You...'

'I can prove it Rajamata,' she cut in and motioned to Mekhala for her backpack. The girl handed it to her, her eyes wide with disbelief. Unzipping it, she brought out her phone and laptop. She had switched them off to conserve their batteries five months ago for this very moment. Switching on her phone, the power on tune filled the room and she felt her maids shrinking back. She tapped on the camera app and took a picture of Rajamata. The flash of light momentarily blinded Rajamata who had been leaning forward curiously.

'It produces light?' she asked incredulously.

'No it takes a picture of you, a portrait.' She held out the phone to the woman and she took it from her, staring hard at the screen, her face showing astonishment. She looked at Ajiona, long and hard mumbling some words she couldn't make out.

Ajiona spent the next one hour explaining how everything worked. She played music from her phone, recorded video with it and showed it to her all the while insisting it was science and not magic. Putting the phone back into the bag she turned on the laptop and played a video Juliana had recorded of all of them. It was on her fourteenth birthday, she had braces then and her hair cut really low, it made her eyes water hearing her mothers voice. After, she waited for rajamata's judgement but the woman was still gaping in wonderment.

'I meant no insult Rajamata; I'm just a lost child trying to find her way home to her mother. I just want to go back home to my mother.' As if on cue, the tears started dropping and she was sniffling.

Rajamata Sivagami's expression softened and she got out of her chair walking to her. She gently wiped away her tears with her thumbs. 'Child, if it is your desire to go home you will get what you wish. But in the while, my home is open to you; it could be yours for the time being till you find your way home. The gods must have placed you here for a reason and I'll be a fool to turn a deaf ear to their order. From now on, you are not a stranger but a honoured guest of this family as long as you are here.'

The skies as if in acceptance of her word rumbled loudly, lightning flashing in blue brilliance.