The World, Biscuits And Sirius Black According To Nellie O'Neill

Matches, Letters, Reunions and Me

It is happening again. I shouldn't make promises anymore about what I'll do. I obviously can't keep them. I'm always going to seem to find myself back where I started. No matter how far I go, I'll always turn around and go back to the place I said I wouldn't or situation as it is now. I'm pathetic. No. I really am. I can't stand my ground, it's like my ground is a bouncy castle, easy to jump from and easy to tumble.

I've tumbled.

Again.

I'd climbed so high but it's so predictable that eventually you're going to fall or at least be forced to come down again. No one can stay at the top forever.

I'm moving through the crowds of people. None of them knew how I was feeling neither did they care. Some gossiped about me as of lately, but Izzie's antics with Cade made sure they never started trouble. People, each one wrapped up in the useless things of life; their hair, make up, gossip. Everybody forgotten what life is really about; love. It sits burning in the back, pushed to the back of the line by gossip or anything just as useless. The people towered over me. Their personalities shined like nothing I'd never seen before.

I shared the castle with many things. Amazing things. Amazing people and looking at myself, I feel inferior. I'd bet they would have enough sense to stop and escape. They wouldn't cross the boundaries over and over again, until the line of the boundaries was so faded it could be barely seen. This morning I'd watched people do amazing things with their wands. I couldn't do anything that would be a quarter like it, let alone match it.

I felt something I'm not really used to; jealously. I'd always remind myself that I'm lucky. I have Izzie and my parents. That's more than other people have. They should be enough right? I can't help but strive for something more. I belong to them; my heart lies with them, but sometimes my mind drifts into the realm of where I'm going and it realizes that I am not going anywhere.

What job would I get when I left Hogwarts?

I have no idea. I'm not going to be an Auror; I'm useless at everything they're good at. What the hell does an unspeakable do? I don't quite think my future lies with the Ministry either.

I sighed pulling my cloak closer, I blocked out peoples conversations. To only get a a few snippets of people conversations always confuses me. I'd rather hear it all or nothing.

I twirled my hair around my fingers, people in the movies manage to do it sexily, and I'd only end up managing getting my hair knotted around my fingers.

The Astronomy tower always seemed odder when it's not engulfed in pitch black, lightened by the moonlight. The day had only begun to swap places with night.

I was alone. I didn't bother sitting. I stood there in the middle of the room. Looking at everything. Hogwarts certainly was something.

"I can't believe you came." Regulus admitted, I could hear his footsteps, getting louder the closer they came. I made no attempt to look at him. We stood in silence for a couple of moments.

"So, Regulus. Your letter was brief. Again." I rolled my eyes as he shrugged, "Nellie. Please come after classes."

"It may be simple but even you cannot argue that it is always effective." Regulus smirked, I glared; we both knew he was right.

I hated this hold he had on me. It was with me at all times, reminding me of who I used to belong to. Right know; its grip was strangling me. I was struggling to escape the situation that had been created in one innocent moment.

"Just get down to the point." I said a little too bluntly than I had actually intended.

"Oh, Nellie, why does it always have to have a point?" Regulus closed his eyes, before opening them again.