serendipity // loona

Lips

Chaewon doesn't know why her feet are taking her to the place she learned to despise. She doesn't know why each step she takes there grows faster, as if she had anticipation to get there. She doesn't know why her feet were so eager to just run, to feel the ground pounding against the bottoms of her shoes, to feel ache, to feel hurt. Wasn't she already experiencing enough of that?

Her legs felt like jelly but her feet insisted to move forward, not to stop or take breaks until she reached where they wanted. Her vision so blurred she didn't know if she was stepping on pavement or the road. But her feet kept going, going, going, stop.

Chaewon blinked a few times, trying to regain her eyesight again, "Dammit," she cussed aloud, causing a few kids to turn their heads to her. Once she could finally see and the tears managed to escape, she felt betrayal. She felt betrayal, that she could just lead herself to the park like this, that she would ever do this to herself. Her steps were lifeless as she slowly got herself onto the grass, where she and Jiwoo once sat, where the night she only wanted to forget took place.

Her legs wobbled, feeling numb and limp until she they finally gave out, collapsing her onto the grass. It itched her skin, but no longer because she hated the prickly tops of the grass, but now because each prickle against her skin were needles injecting venomous memories into her, and all the things she could have forgotten came back to slap her in the face.

The fruity smell of Jiwoo's fragrance that night, the taste of her two lips on hers, the sight of Jiwoo under the moonlight, making her eyes twinkle even more. "God fucking dammit!" Chaewon's hands interlocked with her hair, pulling at her scalp. Is this what being heartbroken felt like?

And she laid there. She couldn't move, not even if she wanted to, which she wanted so badly. She wanted to run out of there, to find the comfort of her apartment again, to lay her face into her pillow and cry there. Instead, she was crying here, her face buried in her forearms. She couldn't feel anything, now. All emotions drained completely from her, washing out with her tears. Now, she could only remember what it was like to feel.

---

"Jiwoo," she felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to look up. Once she saw Vivi's face, she knew what was coming next. What are you doing? A customer could have came in, y'know? Get out of here. But she forgot who her manager was. "You two want to have some time alone? I can take over, no worries. I just thought you guys should... you know... find out about each other?" Jiwoo smiled, remembering she didn't have just any manager. She had sweet-hearted cutie who would never say such mean things to Jiwoo.

"Is your manager setting us up on a date?" Sooyoung smiled, looking down at Jiwoo.

"I'm not complaining," Jiwoo smiled back at Sooyoung. They held each other's hands a little tighter as Jiwoo mouthed a 'thank you' to Vivi, getting dragged by Sooyoung out of the cafe.

It was beautiful outside, rays of sunshine beaming onto the girls' skin. The temperature was hot, no breeze or wind. The sun would be burning them right now if it wasn't for the fact that they were too distracted by each other.

Jiwoo smiled almost as brightly as Sooyoung as their hands tightened against each other. They started mindlessly walking, without a place to go in mind. They talked about seemingly unimportant topics, what they liked to eat, where they wanted to travel, what their favorite things were. Their arms swayed in between them, rocking back, then forth, then back again and forth.

Jiwoo doesn't know why she could be so willingly open towards Sooyoung. Normally, she was sheltered within herself, keeping lots of secrets and sharing little personal information. Hell, even Chaewon didn't know some of the things Jiwoo could so calmly tell Sooyoung!

The contact they had whenever they lightly brushed against each other's arms, despite holding hands, would make both of their faces flush red, feeling flustered at the small gestures. But they were so used to each other's hands, they intertwined so perfectly. Sooyoung wanted to explore everything else, every other beautiful inch of Jiwoo.

Her face, Sooyoung wanted to put her hands around Jiwoo's jaw and cup her face, to feel the weight of it in her hands. Her hair, she wanted to play with Jiwoo's hair and run her fingers through her scalp. She wanted to rub Jiwoo's shoulders, she wanted to grip Jiwoo's hips, she wanted to trace patterns on Jiwoo's thighs, wanted to know Jiwoo's body. But for now, her hands had to do.

Jiwoo felt the same, but she was so scared of opening up to the idea of what she was feeling. She wanted to run from it and escape it, she wanted to lock it up in her heart and forget how it feels, and to just enjoy this right now. And she was, she was enjoying this, but not in the way she was expecting. The more she knew about Sooyoung, about her liking for sushi, her aspiring modeling career, about her dog Haneul, her ups and downs and everything in between, the more she felt the lump in her heart grow. The same one she felt a month ago, the same one that she let burst too easily. So why is it already building up again?

Their steps were synchronized as their feet stepped a rhythm into the sidewalk. They kept walking, kept walking even when they found themselves walking along an empty field. Their hands still bounced, arms still swayed, legs still directing them no where, lips still curved into bright smiles, voices still rambling about nothing in general.

Despite all the silly and stupid questions of Jiwoo's being answered, Jiwoo still had one question burning through her mind, wanting that answer so desperately. Sooyoung made her forget about the pain of heartbreak, the pain of feeling unwanted, unloved. She made her happy when she felt like no one else could, but it couldn't be fate. It couldn't be fate because Jiwoo wasn't supposed to have a soulmate, wasn't supposed to feel love. She forgot about how Chaewon ran away from her that night. She forgot that rejection, because now she can only imagine the kind of rejection she could face from Sooyoung. That was, if Jiwoo would ever allow herself to start to fall like that again. To trust herself with her feelings like that again.

The more Sooyoung went on about the things she wanted to do when she was older, her goals and her ambitions, the more Jiwoo had the urge to ask. To ask about her soulmate, the person who she'd be doing all these things with. She had to ask, had to. Unintentionally, she found her mouth start to open and cut off Sooyoung's speech.

"Have you ever met your soulmate?" She couldn't help herself, feeling the need to cover her mouth with her palm but resisting that urge in order to refrain from looking stupid. She felt butterflies in her stomach rise as Sooyoung made eye contact with her.

"Huh?" She furrowed her eyebrows confused as to what Jiwoo was asking or what she was trying to achieve by saying these things.

"Sorry... I was just, you know, curious. If you already knew your soulmate, because-"

"Jiwoo, I have not. Don't worry," Sooyoung smiled reassuringly, lifting a weight off of Jiwoo's shoulders.

Suddenly, Sooyoung's feet came to a stop, causing Jiwoo's to mimic the pause in movement. She looked up at her expectantly, to hear something about wanting to see if they were soulmates. Jiwoo had never seen Sooyoung's marking before, which raised her anxiety. What if she asked, wanted to see if they were soulmates with each other? What would Jiwoo say? Jiwoo has done an equally good job at hiding her wrist from Sooyoung, scared for her to realize what kind of sad, loveless person she really is. Or- is supposed to be. Her stomach fluttered and her chest tightened at their elongated eye contact, suspenseful for the next few moments.

But instead, the words that left Sooyoung's mouth shocked Jiwoo. "You said... earlier... that you wanted to forget Chaewon's lips, right?"

Jiwoo furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the other girl in oblivion, nodding her head slowly.

"I can help you with that."

Jiwoo's eyes widened at Sooyoung's sudden confidence, but even more so when she felt their lips connect. Those feelings she felt with Chaewon... She felt something similar to that, but so, so different. Maybe she couldn't put a finger on it, but she swore she could taste it on Sooyoung's lips.

The taste of falling in love.