Just Gayness

Chapter 1: Unoriginal

This is my favorite book, shoutout to the person who wrote this, forgot who it is but good for you.

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It's Monday.... the worst day of the week. I'm a super heavy sleeper so my dad comes in my room without knocking and wakes me up, disrupting my dream about the guy I was dreaming about. Also, I made up said gay, I don't even know if he exists, just though about what I find attractive and boom. Anyway, I wake up to find 4 fucking text messages from meh friend Jupiter, saying "Tyler, wake the fuck up !!! I have so many depressing songs I need you to listen too."

At this point, my morning is already fucking ruined. That dumb bitch who moans like a fucking porn star every time you touch her texted me asking if I wanted some depressing ass music. Being the nice friend I am I text back with, "Sure, you know I love me some depressing songs that remind me of my loneliness." Did I mention I'm lonely as fuck. Probably not knowing me.

After listening to that mess of music, I got another text from my other friend Christie, but she doesn't know I have a nickname for her in my mind, I call her The Mistake. Christie texted me answers for some homework that's due today, as per usual.

"Why do my friends have to be such dumbasses ?" I say out loud. I'm glad my dad was in the kitchen at the time or else my ass would've been grass. Unwillingly I get my clothes and put them on. Then I go to the bathroom to wet my hair so I don't have any bed head. I hate mornings too, unless I get to stay in bed and enjoy the feeling of waking up like a true gay boy, or at least that's what I feel like waking up as a true gay boy feels like.

Back to getting ready, I finally brush my hair and put on some deodorant and brush my teeth and then I head out to the living room to wait. "Penny ! Are you ready to go, I can't be late for school again." I scream. Waiting for a response, I suddenly hear the worst noise possible, my little half brother's scream, a.k.a, the war cry. I immediately head to the bathroom for shelter and little Nick comes to the door hitting it as hard as possible. "Little fucker" I think in my head. As if my step mom was an angel, I hear her say " Tyler, turn off the t.v. and let's go.

I was so relieved. I got my things and quickly ran for my life before he touched me. I got in the car and headed for school, listening to some music during the 15 minute drive. When I get to school I immediately look for my friends of despair and absolute fuckery and then shout " Hey fuckers ! What are you guys doing ? Christie, where's my hug biotch ?" Almost immediately she hugs me as if she was an elderly women, which is rather comforting. After that Jupiter comes up to me and says "Lemme squeeze you." I go up to her and say "Why the fuck would I let you do that ?" Jupiter answers with "cos I'm straight" just like the lesbian she is, seriously this bitch watches so much tentacle porn it's almost awfull, I almost feel bad for her search history.

We finally head to first period and go bat shit crazy and immediately flirt with all the straight boys, and then for the rest of that god awful day, we just hung out, watched porn in secret (gay porn for me), and just flirted with the guys... just like m every other fucking day.