Shouldn't Come Back (Discontinued)

Chapter 2 -Fear

Catilin's pov

Think

What do I think of myself? Now compare that to what you think of me? Are they good or bad? Don't tell me good because I know it's bad. It always has been.

"Caite?!,Caitlin?!" I heard my mother's voice travel through the now empty halls. X Factor finished a long time ago. I was still sitting here my back towards the green room door since this morning. Didn't move an inch, didn't want to. What's the point?

"Caitlin?!" My mother's voice rang again. Deciding to give up hiding,I got up and opened the door. "Mom?!" I shouted out. She came running seconds later, red faced and angry. Well I'm getting my punishment soon.

"Caitlin! WHAT THE HELL?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME CALLING YOU?! I CALLED YOU FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT, TWO!". I flinched back in fear when she reached out for me. For this reason her anger rose higher. Being the scared little girl I am, I let her drag me to the car once she grabbed me. "Just wait until you get home! Your going to pay!" She growled lowly so the driver couldn't hear.

I shrunk back in fear, shielding myself from the atmosphere around me.

When the car pulled up in the driveway. I dashed out quickly to my room. Deciding to lock the door for safety reasons. I sat on my bed counting the seconds until I heard. "CAITLIN!"

I shivered that was a minute on point! Didn't take her that long,I think she's just a bit angry. Just a bit. "Catilin Rose Lovato! Open this door right now!" Her muffled screams passed through the door.

Deciding to open the door instead of making her more mad, would be the best option for me right now. So I climbed off my bed, slowly walking to the door. When it was unlocked she barged in and straight slapped me in the face. It was like someone hit me with a greasy bacon except harder!

Next her fist connected to my jaw. Yep bruise there tomorrow for sure. Next thing I know I have a sharp pain in my head and all I see is darkness.

Pure Darkness...

*~*

You wanna know what I feel? Numbness ( Does that word exist? Well if not it should. Just saying.) The darkness was already consuming me but I didn't want it to stop for some reason.Well unlucky for me because I woke up.

When my eyes opened, I quickly shut them again. Who the hell opened my curtains?!

My head spun around as I opened my eyes again, adjusting to the light. I lifted myself upwards, after noticing I was still on the floor. My mom just left me like this? She usually helps me. I think she's taking her meds heavily. I licked my lip as I got up again. Steading myself between my bed and wall.

I whimpered loudly as I walked to the door. Each step; a painful journey. I heard the humming of the televison as I reached the top of the stairs. I carefully limped right to the bottom. Nearly falling on the way.

When I reached the living room,I saw my mom,looking at pictures of Dad and Jasmine. A silent sigh escaped from my mouth. My mom's eyes glistened as tears showed up on her face.

Right now I should feel for her but I'm scared of her. So comforting isn't my best option right this second. "I know your there Caite! Go back upstairs!" Well her mood changed quickly.

I slowly back away and made my way to my room. When in safety, I locked my bedroom door continuing to my bathroom. I locked the door. Franticaly searching for my only friend. When I found it, I slashed my wrists, left and right. Normally I would avoid doing it on my arms but in places less noticeable, like my thighs or abdomen, but today I don't care anymore.

People can judge me all the want, I already know, I'm a fat, emo freak. So you can point it out for all I care. Sitting here with my eyes wide open, watching the blood drip down my arm.

Before I knew it a gasp pulled me out of dreamworld. "C-Caitlin?" My mom spoke shockingly. I didn't reply but instead raised the blade once more ready to make an incision again. "Caitlin stop!" she screamed at me. "You don't love me so why should I?!" I screamed back.

"I do love you babygirl, now give me that!" She yanked the piece of metal from my fingers. "Don't call me that! I'm not your babygirl! You don't love me because if you did you would have wished me a happy birthday already!"

I lifted my head and caught myself in the mirror. "No wonder though, I'm just an ugly, useless, fat, worthless person. That's why you hate me! That's why Dad and Jasmine left! It was all my fault, if you hadn't given birth to me, Daddy and Jazzy would be still here! I'm a failure always have been, always will be! I should just end it right now!"

By the time I finished my 'rant' the blood on wrists had dried up. Mom kneeled infront of me, staring intently in my eyes. "Caite? Baby look at me." I slowly lift my head scared to death at the fact she might hit me again.

She reached her hand up and I flinched back. "N-No I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!" Her face resembled sadness. "Babygirl, I'm not gonna hurt you." I shook my head as her eyes moved to the bruises on her cheeks. She gasped.

"You did that to me Mom. Why are you so surprised?"

She shook her head in disbelief.

"I did?"

What the...

A/N

Ooo so Demi doesn't remember what she did!!!

Haha ermm well update soon as I can. Thanks.

Bye people :)