My thoughts; My opinions

Jealousy

Jealousy.
Everyone goes through it and jealousy is not always about relationships. Sometimes you can be jealous in friendships and other aspects of your life.

I am naturally a very jealous person. I know that sounds bad but I get easily jealous. I get jealous when my best friend talks to other people because I'm afraid of being replaced. I get jealous when the boy I like talks to other girls and makes posts about them. I get jealous of when my brother has other girls that consider him a brother. I am jealous.

Now I know jealousy is not a good thing. I try to help it but the jealousy gets too much and because of my jealousy I do stupid stuff. Because of my jealousy, I lost you. Now I know I know this is supposed to be about jealousy and not you but let's face it when you really like someone you think about them a lot.

Jealousy has definitely been a problem for me and really it comes down to this. I lack self-confidence. I lack trust. I'm always so afraid of losing the people I love because I see their interactions with other people. People who have done nothing wrong, people I think are actually really awesome. But I see the way, you interact with them. I see how funny they can be, how they make you laugh, how they make you smile and that's when I know I can lose you. I can lose you to the girl that makes you smile and laugh. The girl that her personality shines bright. The girl who gets to spend every second with you. The girl who can make you feel better when your sad. The girl who doesn't cause you heartbreak, headaches, and sadness.

Now this isn't just one girl I'm talking about because they will always be many girls in your life. There will be girls that will be prettier than me, funnier than me, smarter than me, more talented than me, and girls that are better in relationships than me.

The girls I described don't just apply to the guy I like. They apply to my friendships as well. Sometimes I have friends that are amazing and wow like my friends I can't even explain how amazing they are but I get jealous in my friendships as well. I get jealous because my friends are so amazing and always there for me through the good and the bad that they have seen everything. Especially two people in my life that have always been there for me. I get scared that you will find someone else because I know that I am complicated and a mess. I know that I screw up and you two help me fix it. I know that I fall in love and get heartbroken a lot. I know that I am stubborn and impatient. I know that I put you two through a lot of crap and that's why I'm scared that one day you two will be done with dealing with me and find someone better.

But I am still young and I am still learning. I'm learning that jealousy is a natural thing and that everyone goes through it. I'm learning that jealousy doesn't have to be bad. You just have to learn from your mistakes.

{ Well thanks for reading this. I hope you guys enjoy this. This was inspired by Joey Kidney's video "Guys Get Jealous Too." Let me know if you like this or not or if this helped you or you related to this in anyway. }