Zoned out

Zone out

From the lights in class to the sound of the teacher calling on each of us students waiting to respond, my mind slowly turning off and on again waiting for her to call my name, then without notice my mind my eyes go blank then I hear nothing, I see nothing, I taste nothing and i feel nothing but the coldness of the environment on my sin and am flooded with nothing but the cold memories of my childhood from my first fight to my first crush breaking my heart then think what was the point i was born in to this world, what reason was i created, do i have a purpose to my life, is there anything i can do to change the world? then i'm hit with the cold reality of knowing the answer already would be no, i can't do anything to help other.

So the look of blurs come into my vision at the present moment in time which the coldness lessens and i begin to look around at me environment, I think look around and to my surprises i see that i was in the worst place i could ever be, No where and that was what scared me as i notice that i am falling in an endless hole that has nothing but the look of the walls i'm falling through as i stare at the endless abyss that i am destine to fall for all of eternity.

I find that time moves slower the the real world as it shows that while i have not aged it feels like days have pasted since i came to this horrific place that is my endless suffering and the time line of this has change quickly, as for the first day i had been doing nothing but screaming waiting for what i assumed would be my unavoidable death at the hands of falling but then i think it would be best to stop pointlessly screaming out as if i want others to know i am here and am hopeful for help to come to my rescue. 

Then the second day i just stay there as my throat starts to dry out while i can't speak very well and soon start to feel the pain that i know is hunger. as my eyes drift from consciousness to another dream but in this one i find my self at the start of my suffering as it was the same as being back at the pitch black void and finding nothing  in it and only by the sound of my own screeching voice would i awake from the dream within the dream and start to cough out my own blood.

Then finally for the third day of my endless falling i would then picture my lifeless eyes staring at the endless darkness from which i descend into as my stomach turns in side out of hunger and my throat dryer then the desert itself as i spend the day wasting away  as my skin shrinks and my body gets colder and colder but i continue to fall no longer caring actually i do care, i care about my hope that i will fall soon to my inevitable death.

Then at long last i feel a ray of hope to find my suffering will have ended by which my death was happen as i finally approach the end of my journey to find the could ground waiting to be splattered with my blood but then as i shut my eyes and break the skin on my lips into a attempted smiles that moves while oozing blood from my lips i then start to hear the ringing voice in my head as something or someone starts to call out my name "Jakob, "jakob" i then awake in class to find the teacher and the students staring at me with warm eyes as the memories of that once infamous place i had finally escaped from and then hear  the teachers voice once again "What happened jakob?" she asks in a smooth warm voice as i stare around a bit at the class and then put a light smile on and calmly say "I just zoned out".