lost or dead

Drip. Red. Puddle. Geoff. Knife.

Awsten looked at the scene in front of him. Red. Puddle. Geoff. Geoff was laying on the ground, blood dripped from his mouth and a puddle was forming below him. Awsten looked at his hands. Red. Knife. Drip. He tried to piece together what had just happened. Remembering makes his legs feel like jelly.

"I can't believe I just did that.." He stared at the corpse. Moments before, Geoff was laughing and asking Awsten what they needed to do. He now laid lifeless on the floor, his once white shirt now stained crimson. Awsten drops by Geoff's side and prepares to dispose of the body.

—

Awsten and Otto, best friends. They do friend things like start a band, normal teen things. Awsten declares they need to make it big. Their friends refuse to join, going off to do their own things, and then Geoff came around. Otto introduced the tall brunette to Awsten. They got to know each other and all was good.

Months pass and things begin to.. Change. Otto started hanging out with Geoff a lot more, Otto claims he wanted to get to know the new guitarist. Awsten believed him until he started noticing Geoff's hair at practice and the redish marks on Otto's neck. It began to happen more. They would show up late, make up quick excuses, and pulled their hands apart. Awsten quickly caught on.

—

"So." Awsten started. Otto fidgeted a bit, fiddling with his thumbs.

"So," He knew why Awsten wanted to talk, but he wouldn't admit it to himself.

"You and Geoff, eh?" Awsten joked, punched Otto's arm lightly. "Got something you wanna tell your buddy chum pal?"

Otto wasn't looking but he could tell awsten winked at the end of that sentence. The brunette looked to the side, staring at the wall intently.

"Maybe I haven't been completely honest with you the past few weeks.." Awsten saw his cheeks light up with a rose tint. If we're being honest here, this isn't what Awsten wanted to hear. Awsten's mind flashed to dark places, but he pushed the urges back and continued the conversation.

"Is he big?"

Otto shot up and stared at Awsten. His face was bright red and his eyes could almost pierce his heart. "AWSTEN!" His response was met with a loud, nasally laugh.

"Otto it's so obvious!" Awsten laughed. He thought Otto could do better.

—

Weeks pass since Geoff and Otto officially announce their relationship, and Awsten couldn't feel any worse. Otto and Geoff don't leave Awsten out or make him a third wheel, but Awsten knows he's being forgotten.

Otto begins to reschedule plans with Awsten and Geoff can't remember the riffs and chords in new songs. They're becoming distant.

After canceling another night, Awsten now sits in his room alone. His birthday is next week and he's planning the celebration. The only thing he hasn't planned yet is the dinner.

—

Awsten's birthday is tomorrow and we are back to where we started. Geoff laughs as he's brought down into Awsten's basement.

"So you need help with what again?" Geoff is clueless and that's the one thing Awsten liked about him. Idiotic. Gullible. Kind.

"I need you to figure out what's wrong with the pipes down here." Awsten replies maybe too innocently. "I figured you would know, Otto was never very good with this."

Geoff continues the conversation as he normally would. Social. Friendly. Innocent. "Otto usually fixes everything on the farm.."

"It could be like a birthday present for me, y'know." Awsten shows him to a random spot in the basement which he demands needs fixing.

"This doesn't look broken to me, Aws." Geoff is too focused to notice the knife in his hand.

"I assure you it is.." Awsten's voice deepens, this scenario has played out in his head many times before.

"Everything seems... Fine...." Geoff's voice trails off. "Awsten?"

A million thoughts are running through Awsten's head. "Awsten, please back up. Is this a joke? I-I'm not laughing! Awsten!"

Awsten laughs. no one will leave no one will leave no one will leave do it do it do it do it He likes when Geoff is scared, he sounds better than he did in his head.

"Awste-" Geoff's words are quickly cut off by a sharp pain in his stomach. He tries to speak, but only blood comes up. He quickly falls, everything flashing and blurring together.

Awsten straddles him and stabs some more. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. He counts along. Geoff isn't responding. Geoff isn't moving. Geoff isn't breathing. Standing back up, Awsten attempts to process what happened.

Drip. Red. Puddle. Geoff. Knife.

He stares. Geoff's now lukewarm body stares back. Awsten knows what to do.

—

It's Awsten's birthday.

Otto shows up, asking if he knows where Geoff is. "He said he was coming by last night, you really didn't see him?"

"Not at all. Maybe he went out drinking." Awsten sets two plates on the table. Otto was the only one invited.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be talking about this on your day. I'm just very nervous." Otto sits down, awaiting dinner.

"It's alright Otto, I get it." Awsten sets down a platter on the table. "Bon appétit."

"I'm glad you understand." Otto smiles, and quickly begins to fill his plate. "You know I could've taken you out to dinner, right?"

"I wanted to make dinner for tonight, It's my treat." Awsten begins filling his own plate.

Otto takes one bite. "Awsten.. This is really good." Two. Three. Four. "What did you make?"

Awsten picks up a piece with his fork. "Chef's special?" He laughs.

Otto laughs in return and continues eating.

—

Awsten looks over to Otto, who has stopped eating. He carefully pulls something from his mouth, perhaps something undercooked.

Otto stares at the strand of brown hair in his hand.