A Sponsored Silence

Day 1

Hi, the name's Melissa. This is my online diary... I suppose it's a sort of thing that I'm gonna do while this whole sponsored silence thing goes on, it's a bother really but having nobody to talk to is, like, so annoying so I decided I would type down my thoughts right here. Omg... this whole situation is, like, sooo cliché. Like, I could fully be a totally sexy actress right now.

Ermm. I think that I should probably explain why this whole diary exists. Well, reason number one is: It was, like, 11:00 at night, I was bored and decided to roam the internet for a while, like, the first few hours resulted in absolutely nothing. Talk about boring, I then typed 'sponsored silence', don't know why. I just felt like it, okay.
So, anyways, I clicked on this website that seemed, like, super reliable and it, like, really interested me. There was this survey and it had two boxes or something, it said

'Do you think that money is better than words?'

At this point I had kind of just lost all hope and, I mean, there was money involved so I just ticked the yes button. That was, like, the easiest question ever, nobody else is good enough to talk to me anyways so I wasn't lying or anything, money means more to me than anything else, other people are just scum that I use, I mean, like, omg, Charlotte from my class, her ass is, like, totally flat and she had absolutely no boobs whatsoever and she thinks that she can be my friend. Lol, it makes me laugh every time.

I clicked 'okay' and it took me to another page and there was a sign that said

'Your sponsored silence starts now... enjoy your week and remember, no noise allowed'

I know people who would find that creepy and all but, like, it got me money so I don't really care. I once sold drugs to a kindergartener because they thought it was sherbet and I needed the money. Stupid skank, she gave me, like, 85 dollars for something I got for free from a homeless guy, the poor man said my butt was cute and that my boobs were, like, super good looking so I let him touch them and he gave me the bag of coke for free.  Sooooo... earlier on, when I said that was reason number one. There were no other reasons, I was, like, totally bored senseless so yeah.

I didn't close the browser, instead I let it keep going while I get changed for school or whatever. School is, like, soooooooooo boring. Ugh. It's not like I'm going to pay attention anyways, this whole silence thing is, like, an excuse so I can just not talk to teachers, or even those slutty little seniors. Seniors are, like, sooo annoying. I mean, I get it Bethany, you have a bigger ass than Maria, that's good and all but you don't need to flaunt it. God.

So, I've finished getting changed and I decided to, like, keep the computer on, you know, just in case. I printed out the page from the website that told people I was doing a sponsored silence and when I walked into school it was as boring as ever.  Teachers crowded and asked if I did homework assignments (ew no, why would I) so I just pointed to the sheet of paper I was carrying around. It. Feel. Like. Royalty.

I mean, like, it's not like I'm not treated like royalty anyways, it's just that today, like, the teachers did it too. They thought that I was doing it for cancer research or something, ew, I'm never going to get cancer so why should I care about anybody else?

Sooooo, I'm back from lessons and my day was, like, okay I guess. Nobody was bitching to me though. Guyyysss. It was, like, totally boring. I overheard somebody asking about how I was brave and really cool because i did the silence and I looked at them and winked all seductive and all and put my finger to my mouth as in, like. Sshh. He, like, totally fawned over me. Little secret, I've been, like, trying to seduce him for a while now and, like, I totally think it's working. He walked past me after I winked at him and I felt something brush against my butt. Omggggggg. I knew it was him because his hand felt, like, super nice and everything. On the bus, it was like, as boring as ever. Nobody even wanted to talk to me :(
Well that's only because they, like, totally know I'm better than them anyway.

When I went home... Okay you guys... prepare yourselves... my laptop was, like, counting and it said.

'Good job Melissa. You have almost made the first day...'

It makes it sound like some sort of action movie where I'm the hot superhero that everybody wants to be with. So, like, I checked the little tab that was like 'earned so far'... you guys better prepare yourselves...
£12,009.46
Like, O. M. G!!! I can, like, totally buy a new bag now!! I was about to squeal when the computer spoke and said 'remember, no noise'. And I was like, omg, you're right. LOL, thanks mr pig mask.

I ,like, totally skipped homework. I'll get Amelia-plate-face to do it for me. I call her that because I walked in on her, like, totally making out with a plate. She was so fucking drunk, like. OMG. So I'm gonna head off to sleep now but I'll, like, write later or whatever stupid dirty writers sign off with.

Mwah 💋