FROSTBITE | S. Rogers/B. Barnes (FINISHED)

Cold As Ice

"You and I need to have a little chat," Steve told Bucky over the sound of the killing engine once they'd arrived. 

"Do we?" Bucky mumbled, scooting towards the middle of the backseat so his knees would no longer get squished by the seat in front of him. 

Sam stepped outside, stretching his limbs. He noticed trash on the side of the road, blown across the asphalt from the parking lot, squashed cans and sodden wads of paper and candy wrappers that shone in the blinding sunlight. He opened Janie's door next, pulling her outside with him and walking her towards the grass that led into an abandoned cornfield.

"Stretch your limbs," he told her, "don't try anything." 

At first she couldn't tell whether he was serious or not, but Sam didn't laugh, even after a stare down that lasted nearly a full minute. With a huff, she sat down, allowing the sea of green to take her mind off of Zemo's red little book and its contents for just a little while. Her stomach rumbled, but she ignored its desperate pleas for food while Sam straightened to his full height behind her, sunglasses shading his eyes from the burning sun and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

"I need to fix her as soon as possible," Steve muttered while filling up the car with gasoline, "I don't know what happened to her, but I'll figure it out. I have to and I need your help. You're the only one who has any idea how she might be feeling right now." 

"She ever killed anyone before?" Bucky asked, sticking his head out of the window for some much needed fresh air, "before this, I mean." 

"Janie would never kill anyone. She doesn't even splat bugs. Puts them in a mason jar and sets them free." He glanced at her, watching her mindlessly pluck at withered strands of grass before rolling them between her fingers. 

"She doesn't remember everything now, but she will eventually. You need to make sure she can handle that." Bucky explained, allowing the sun to reflect off of his metal arm in the most beautiful way.

"This is on me," Steve sighed, slamming his hand against the top of the car. 

He noticed her flinching when the sound of his hand colliding with the rusty metal rang through her ears even from across the lot. His hand speedily found the nape of his neck, where it began to kneed the soft skin. 

"You'll figure it out, man," Bucky said, smiling sadly.

Steve noticed a bird on top of the truck stop sign and the gravel beneath his feet. He sighed, allowing air to leave his lungs in a small puff and sat down on the passenger's seat with the door still open, feet in the gravel, head in the car. 

"Can I use the bathroom in there? I feel gross and I need to pee." Janie asked Sam, looking up at the gas station in front of her and at him. 

People pulled up and walked inside, only to emerge minutes later with snacks and drinks and smiles on their faces. A pang of jealousy slapped her in the face when she saw a couple holding hands, walking out of the gas station like they were walking on cloud nine. How easy life must be for them, not having to worry about becoming a murderous super soldier or killing innocent people. 

Sam chucked dryly, his sunglasses masking his twinkling eyes, "no."

With a frustrated groan, Janie laid back in the grass. The sun burned her retina, so she closed her eyes, allowing herself to somewhat relax for the first time in months. She breathed for a moment, biting her lip while her fingers drew small circles in the dirt. Then, she pulled out some grass, tossing it up into the air and watching it fall before her feet.

Her heart rate sped up, reasons for not to do what she was about to do flooding into her brain all at once. The panic that began to rise in her chest would fade if she'd stay where she was, but the unstoppable swirl of stupidity had already began to circle in her brain. A glint of mischief in her eyes and she jumped up, blood rushing to her head when she hooked her leg underneath Sam's and pulled it back with a swing. He fell, landing in the damp soil with a thud and a groan. One last glance at the man in the grass and she threw him the middle finger, certain he was looking at her with surprise despite the tinted shades hiding his eyes. She'd already broken into a full sprint by the time he managed to get up on his feet, legs carrying her quickly towards gas station.

"Steve!"

Sam didn't even have to shout his name, because the second Steve heard the commotion outside, he'd rushed out of the car and began running towards the young woman. Bucky smirked when he saw Steve jump on top of her, pinning her to the ground and straddling her when the two of them landed in the gravel. She kicked her legs back and forth in an attempt to get rid of the heavy body on top of her, but Steve didn't move an inch. Instead, he sat on top of her stomach, holding onto both her wrists with one arm while the other rested firmly on the ground beside her head. 

His chest heaved up and down, adrenaline coursing through him, "What the hell do you think you're doing? People are going to think we're kidnapping you if you don't calm down." 

She shrugged her shoulders and blew a strand of hair out of her face, "You are kidnapping me."

"You're not getting out of my sight," he said. 

"I need... feminine products," she said quickly, "Do you need hold my hand while I buy that?"

Steve offered the cashier a small nod, before leading Janie into the truck stop bathroom. He contemplated whether to go inside the men's room for a moment, but instead went for the women's, gently pushing her inside. He picked her up and set her down on the counter, placing his hands on either side of her so he could take in her appearance for a moment. The plastic bag containing a box of tampons and Twizzlers sat in her hand, which rested on the dirty sink. 

Janie flinched the moment his fingers connected with her cheek. She turned away with shut eyes, hair falling in her face as Steve sighed. He went into the stall to grab some toilet paper and soaked it under the sink, before beginning to wipe at the dirt on her face. The blood under her nose had been washed away when the helicopter fell into the water earlier, but sweat and dirt had quickly taken its place since then, along with a stray blade of grass that he picked out of her hair and threw on the bathroom tiles. 

"Look at me," he pleaded, "Come on."

"I can't," she mumbled, "I can't."

"Hey, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. You think a couple of kicks are gonna scare me off? You can try to run away, but I'm gonna come find you every time."

"Can you give me a few minutes? I need some time to get myself together," she asked, flashing him the look he couldn't find the courage to resist. 

He quickly excited the room, closing the door behind him so she could lock it from the inside. 

"Ten minutes," he said through the door, "I'm waiting right here."

For a moment, Janie looked in the mirror. She hardly recognized herself when she wiped the dust off the glass. A stranger looked back at her, hair matted and tangled, streaks of dried dirt on her cheeks and her clothes, Steve's clothes, hanging loosely off her enhanced body. She turned on the faucet and began to wash her hands, leaving on the faucet when she reached into the bathroom stall for toilet paper so she could dry herself off. A shaky breath that partially fogged up the mirror and a silent apology to the man behind the door soon followed. He had no idea what she was about to do. 

In a swift motion, she'd soundlessly pushed open the window. A tear slipped down her face when she turned back towards the door behind which Steve stood waiting for her. She swung her leg over the windowsill and leaped down, taking a second to take in her surroundings before breaking out into a full sprint. The sink inside the bathroom slowly filled up with chlorinated water that spilled over the sides and clattered onto the ground seven minutes into her escape. Steve knocked on the door when the sound of it failed to cease. Time was running out, but the decent man inside him didn't want to interrupt whatever she was doing inside the bathroom, especially not if it required tampons.  

Janie ran faster than she'd ever ran before. How her legs could keep up with her brain she didn't know. With labored breaths she continued to run, sweat rolling down her back and staining her already messed up shirt in the process. She had no clue where she was headed or what she would do once she felt safe enough to stop, but that didn't deter her from trying to get as far away from him as possible. 

She nearly tripped over her own two feet. Her brain had trouble adjusting to the serum inside her, but her mind refused to give up. She had to get away from him, leave him, because she didn't trust herself to be anywhere near him and didn't trust him to be wary of her. She'd tried to kill him in cold blood, would've ripped his throat out with her bare hands if she could and no amount of water could wash the thought of it from her hands. He had Bucky and Sam, they would help him through it, but she needed to be alone to handle herself.

She didn't even notice she was crying.