If he only knew || Thomas Sangster

#5

Sitting in the big kitchen, Thomas was not paying attention to anyone in particular. His thoughts were far away, zooming out for the umpteenth time in the last half an hour.

He and his family band went to a producer's house to talk about a collaboration for the future. But the girls -his sister and his mum- were the ones who were doing the talking anyway; he was just supposed to be there in person.

"You okay with this, Thomas?", he was dragged back in the reality by Eric's voice, the "new producer". Thomas didn't know much about him, but he was Matt's band producer so he trusted him somehow.

"Yeah, I think it's alright", he answered not really knowing what he just agreed with so he made a mental note to ask his sister later.

Truth is that he was tired and all he wanted to do was to just go outside and smoke a cigarette. So he stood up and excused himself for a minute, taking his glass of beer and walking towards the back door and stepped outside in the backyard.

The night was chill and his leather jacket was still inside, but he already has lightened the cigarette and he wasn't going to put it off after just two smokes.

He felt like his head was pounding and his eyes were heavy after so many sleepless nights. His thoughts wandered towards his ex girlfriend Bella again, wondering if she was feeling as miserable as he was.

He hasn't talked to Bella since the day they've broken up and even if she agreed to meet him from time to time, she has never answered his calls or texts. And that was what got him anxious and angry and made him have sleepless nights.

"Hi!", he suddenly heard a voice behind him, disturbing his thoughts.

Thomas rolled his eyes and turned his gaze towards the new arrival, lips pursed in annoyance.

It was a girl; black hair and blue eyes, wearing a pair of leggings and a t-shirt.

"Yes?", he asked. The girl seemed familiar yet he didn't know who she was. She just stayed in the door frame and smiled at him, holding a cup of something hot in her hands.

"It's cold outside, I thought you might need something to warm you up a little", she said again pointing towards the cup. "It's hot cocoa."

He raised a brow at her then frowned a bit. He was not in the mood for a conversation and the girl clearly seemed to want to talk.

"Oh by the way I'm Eric's friend, Karin. I mean I am Anna's cousin but she's his girlfriend so..."

"I get it", Thomas cut her off shortly.

"Well anyway, I think you remember we met at Matt's band gig about three weeks ago."

"We did?"

The girl, Karin, looked at him in confusion and she pursed her lips, thinking.

"Yes. But then I guess you meet a lot of people everyday so it's okay if you don't remember..."

Thomas shifted his eyes from her and towards the sky, taking in another smoke and a sip from his beer. The girl was pretty talkative and that got him even more annoyed, even if he was usually calm and self contained.

"Anyway I'll let this here for you and...", she said again and suddenly he felt her grabbing his shoulder as she reached out to put the cup of hot cocoa in front of him on a table. But because he was so tensed he was taken by surprise by her touch and jumped, managing to hit her hand and make her drop the hot cocoa cup all over the table and on his trousers.

"Shit!", he cursed under his breath.

"Oh my God I am so sorry about this!", Karin panicked. "Let me just grab some tissues and..."

"Just leave it, you've done enough!", he raised his voice at her, annoyed.

She stopped at his words, looking back at him with guilty eyes.

"I really did not mean that Thomas, I am sorry!"

But something inside of him exploded, making him continue to snap at her without being able to stop himself.

"Why were you even following me? You were not even in the kitchen when I left and then suddenly you're here?!"

"I went to the grocery and bought these cups of hot cocoa and they said you were outside so..."

"How convenient!", he said.

"I promise, I just wanted to...", Karin tried to explain but he shushed her again.

"If you know me, then you know what I'm doing for living, right?", he asked.

"Yes", she said in a weak voice, feeling the tears at the edge of her eyes; one blink and they would fall down her cheeks.

"So if you are one of those fans who are trying to get into my personal space, then I would advise you to keep the distance."

"What has this to do with..."

"I am aware that the fandom already knows me and Bella have broken up, but that doesn't give you the right to sneak around me! I'm not looking for another girlfriend!"

He was so busy yelling at the girl in front of him that he didn't even notice her frighten look and teary eyes. When he was finally done yelling, silence surrounded him and he realized her cheeks were bright red and she wrapped her arms around herself, looking even shorter than she already was.

"I'm not...", she started to say, but it seemed like she lost her words. "I just..."

Karin sighed, giving up of saying something. She looked at him with sad eyes and Thomas saw something else in there: disappointment?

"I'm sorry..." she finally said before going back inside the house, leaving him there all alone.

He shut his eyes close, squeezing them. He had never snapped at someone like that; and the fact that the girl might have been a fan of his made it even worse. He only then realized he didn't even give the poor girl a chance to explain herself; he just yelled his assumptions at her and she just stood there and listened, petrified.

He made another mental note that he needs to fix this soon, but just not tonight; he was already tired and messy and he was afraid he would just screw everything up even more. He put off his cigarette and went inside, going towards the bathroom to clean his trousers for a little.

Thomas heard laughter from the kitchen and when he got there the band's members were signing some papers, which he assumed it was their new contract.

Ava -his sister- raised an eyebrow at the sight of his stained trousers and he avoided her gaze, not wanting to answer at any questions.

"Come on honey, it's only you left to sign!", his mother said and put the pan in his hand.

Thomas faked a smiled and signed where his mother pointed, then everything went official: his family band Winnet had a new producer and that meant a lot of work for some new gigs and a possible new album.