In Too Deep

Chapter Twenty One - Crantock

Nell. Stop crying."

"I'm not crying." I say, tears pouring down my cheeks. I try and scrub them away with the backs of my hands. "I can't believe it. He deliberately tripped you. What the hell have I raised?"

"Stop that. He's having trouble adjusting. We knew this wasn't going to be easy." Josh's forearm is grazed and bleeding, tiny stones from the tennis court embedded in his skin. Despite me bathing it, it still looks nasty. He's also got a little graze on his chin. Luckily that seems far more superficial.

"I think you might have to go to hospital." I sigh, tears falling again. "I can't get your arm clean."

"Because you're dabbing not scrubbing."

"I don't want to hurt you." I say on a sob.

"Nell." He sighs. "Stop!" He pulls me onto his lap and kisses my forehead. "I'll go and shower and scrub it myself. He hasn't stabbed me. Don't turn this into more than it is."

"I still can't believe it. Do you think he's like this at school? Do you think he's a bully?"

"I really don't. You're making too much of this. He's pissed off I'm taking your attention and he seized the opportunity to watch me fall arse over tit playing tennis. I don't think he expected it to be such a bad fall. I'd committed to that shot though. I'm too competitive."

We're back in the apartment. Jack has been banished to his room. I can't look at him right now. Louis is playing with the X-box. Even he is subdued. We've barely been here half a day and the lovely weekend has become not so lovely. Josh is sitting on the bed. We've both kicked off our trainers and he's pulled his T-shirt off, so it doesn't get in the way as I attempt to clean the graze on his arm. It's hopeless. I haven't stopped crying since we got back to the apartment. Even the tanned perfection of his chest fails to distract me.

Jack is no doubt gloating in the room next door. He's showed no remorse at all. I don't think I have ever been angrier with him. I knew he was resentful. I never expected this behaviour though and it is totally unlike him. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I can't force him to like Josh. I also can't let a ten year old dictate my life.

I set the bowl of water on the bedside table and rest my head against Josh's chest. He's warm and I can smell the lingering scent of Spice bomb, along with clean, masculine perspiration. He wraps his arms around me, pressing me closer. I inhale on a shuddering sob and hear him exhale on a deep sigh.

"Nell!" He puts a hand under my bum and picks me up, turning and shifting us both backwards, so we're lying on the bed, propped against the pillows, my head on his shoulder.

"Come on, Nell. You need to calm down. We're going to Finn's soon. You can't go in this state." He's rubbing soothing circles on my back and his lips are in my hair.

"I know. I'm sorry. You know I'm like this though. Once I start crying, it's hopeless. We can't leave your arm like that either."

"We've got a few minutes before gangrene sets in. I don't think I'll lose the arm." He says dryly. How can he joke? "You need to go and talk to Jack before we go out. You can't go and see him whilst you're like this though. You've punished him by sending him to his room. Just let it go, Nell."

"He's been so rude too. You've only ever been kind to him. I don't understand it." I slide my hand across Josh's chest and he entwines our fingers, squeezing gently.

"We won't understand, because we're not ten years old. He just needs to see that nothing is going to change with me around. The landscape of his life won't alter that much. I still don't think I can get involved. I would talk to him. I think that may just make it worse."