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when ever he looks me in the eyes, i feel the hot tears pricking on the brim of my eyes. when ever i see them together i feel sick to my stomach. when he tries to talk to me, all i can do is run away without saying a word to him.

it shouldn't have been this way. i shouldn't have to shut him out 

why isn't he done trying with me? 

i have always asked this, i don't think i will ever have the answer to that question seeing as i can't even look in his direction without thinking about what happened. i can't be near him without being scared. 

that's the catch though. 

 i want to be with him. 

i can't have him, but i feel like i need him. 

i have shut the world out because i can't handle it anymore. my friends grew worried but i didn't care, i needed to leave. it didn't matter how i did, i just needed to and fast. i can't handle how much anxiety rules over my life.

i gotta leave 

i have to leave

goodbye


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