Shit Lessons

Burning Food

So I came back home and felt a bit gassy, so I was about to take a shower and I felt like something punched my stomach.

I immediately lifted up the toilet seat to release the tamarind and instead of having some smooth ass diarrhea glide out my ass, I had this mix of brown and green chunks.

I sat on the toilet for 15 minutes and after a few chunks came out, the soft parts came out, hit the water and launched green shit water back in my ass.

I wiped my ass when I tought it was over only to realise...that a stream of green silky shit glides out of my rectum at full velocity, making my stomach feel less pressure.

I stood up, wiped my ass, and flushed 4 times, so I got into the shower and my asshole starts burning like Satan's toes.

I tought "oh what can just fucking help?" so I let a bitch of cold water go down my crack and it alleviated the burning anus sensation.

Let this be a life lesson.
1. Never eat street food.
2. If your anus burns let cold water run down it.