Written in a order not specific.

You can't Understand.

I can't let you in. Years of hiding it from people just like you has made it instinctual. I'm sorry you can't understand how I feel. I save you from my issues. My pride makes it so. I must carry my burdens on my own it is how it should be. I shrug every death and heart break of by saying "it's ok it's whatever". But inside I'm crumbling like a a narrowing cliff like one a suicidal man like me would stand. I go insane, dreaming of testing my face apart to never be again. Nothingness evades me and it is what I dream let it be, I wish to be. I'm sorry old friends and new trying to get in I can't let you. If I let my guard down you'll get hurt and I'll have to force my guard up to make you feel better pinching my emotional fingers in a figurative door.