I'm fine. Sigh
This phrase repeated like a broken track plays over and over again in my mind my lips form round the word like a lollipop to sweet to be true to likeable to feel unloved to self-centred to feel self-hatred
I'm fine.
Why do I say this as if anyone's going to believe me like anyone's going to trust me like anyone's going to believe "Oh, it was the cat"
I'm fine.
I say through forged smiles and glazed over eyes that Hold my true emotions hidden away from daylight and unleashed in the darkness of my room where no one can hear the strangled silent cries for help where no one has to care where no one wants wants to care
I'm fine.
Yeah right I question this statement every time it slips from my loaded mouth if lies I never put the safety on my mouth when no one wants to hear the truth from my mouth so why open my mouth?
I'm fine.
It's useless I'm lying to myself so much I believe it's the truth I've been down so much I can't remember what being up feels like what having a good nights sleep without the feeling out my tears soaking my pillows feels like what not having to lie because I'm afraid they'll run away afraid of the monster that has hold of me
Why do I put myself through this?
Ok. Sigh
How do I say this?
I'm not fine.
