It started as a Game

Explosion!

Brilliant. Declan was alone again. And it was all his fault. He knew Anthony wasn't to blame in this. Declan knew he had let that goddamn kiss happen and he knew he shouldn't have snapped. And he knew he had snapped at the wrong person. Because he was angry at himself. And at her. But not at Anthony. Although he knew that Anthony should sort things out with his wife first before kissing him. But Anthony was just in a shit situation. And Declan knew he shouldn't judge him for not being able to get out of it. After all, he had been there before himself. He knew exactly what it was like.

To be honest. Declan didn't care about this woman. Not a bit. She might happen to be Ant's wife, but that was about it. She didn't mean anything to him and he didn't feel guilty because he had kissed her husband. He felt guilty because he wasn't watching out for himself. Because he liked this dominant side to Anthony and because he blamed himself for that. Because he felt weak for falling for him. And because he just couldn't forget his past.

He had just panicked. Because Anthony had acted in a way Jacob had done so many times. And it had scared the shit out of him and something had just snapped inside of him. But actually, he knew Anthony wasn't like Jacob. Not even a single bit. Of course he knew that, Anthony was one of the loveliest people he had ever met. No, he wasn't like Jacob at all. Anthony just happened to be in a shit situation. Jacob was a shit human. That was the difference. As soon as Declan realised that, he started to cry and all his anger faded away and turned into blank sadness. He had ruined it. He knew that.

Anthony wandered the streets once again. He was absolutely devastated. Could this be true? Could Declan be different than he had thought? Had he misjudged him all the way? Was he just playing a game? Was he just a toy to Declan?

He had thought that he could trust Declan. That he cared about him. Just like he cared about Declan. Dec had seemed so understanding and his way of interacting with him had shown Ant a new side to himself. Or rather a side that he had buried deep inside himself a long time ago. So why did Declan do this? Why did he hurt him when he had said that he liked him before?

Anthony was totally confused. And he was hurt that Declan only hit on him to give Rebecca a wipe. That devastated him the most. And that was the moment he realised how much he actually liked that man. Because it hurt. And it hurt him very much. It hurt him so much that a tear fell down his cheek while he puffed on his cigarette. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go back to Declan either. He just wanted to disappear.

A few phone calls later where he organised everything with his surgery, he went to the train station. And he knew exactly where he was going. Just as he was getting on the train and it was departing his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighed loudly. He knew it was Declan. And he didn't want to read it. He didn't want to hear from him. He just wanted his peace. So he fetched out the magazine he had bought at the station and started reading it. Desperate to get his mind off this whole damn situation.

After 5 minutes his phone buzzed again. And again. And again.

"For fuck's sake" Anthony muttered and got it out of his pocket. "Declan, you little..."

But it wasn't Declan. It was Rebecca. He had received already 8 messages and 3 missed calls. He skimmed through them briefly. Basically each one said that he should come back home and that she loved him. But strangely, he didn't even care. He was just sick of this all. Sick of London. It was just all too much. So he switched off his phone and let his head fall against the window.

Declan wasn't crying anymore. But he didn't feel any better either. He felt absolutely miserable for snapping at Anthony. He liked this guy a lot. He would call Ant his closest friend at the moment and that was quite something. He didn't want to lose him, not over something silly like that. He just had to talk to him, apologise, explain everything. But he didn't know where he was. He didn't even know where he lived. Anthony had never wanted Declan to visit him at home. And Declan knew it was because of Rebecca. They had always met in the pub.

But Declan was also sure that Anthony hadn't gone home. He had seemed so miserable when he had shown up at his doorstep. No. Anthony wouldn't go home. Or maybe... Maybe he would. Dec fetched out his phone and typed a little text, hoping to reach Ant before he would head off.

I'm really sorry. Really. Please come back! D x

When Anthony didn't reply for 10 minutes, Declan tried again.

Ant, please. I am really sorry, it was unfair. I fucked up and I know it. D x

Still no answer. Not after 5 minutes and not after 10 minutes. Not even after half an hour. Dec tried to ring Ant, but it went straight to voicemail. Great. But Declan knew he had to switch his phone back on at some point. So he decided on something drastically.

I swear to God, I'm gonna drive up there if you don't answer me. And I'm gonna find your mum's house cause I care about you. D xx

All Declan could do was wait.