It seemed like a dream, meeting Sol. I'll never forget the way he looked, and spoke to me the day we met. I was just a child back then, around 11. He was exactly four years, ten months, and twelve days older than me. His hair was a gentle brown, like it was gently touched by the sun. his eyes were a captivating grey blue, soft and kind, but wise and older than he was. He'd seen a lot, and at the time, i wasn't ready just then too know. With all the stars in the galaxy kept carefully within the glossy barrier of his trentonomous, it was as if every glance i stole, every longing gaze we kept, brought me deeper into a world beyond mine. I saw the world in his eyes, my own world, and his. A sea of emotions, and stars, sparkling and shimmering with love, passion, fondness, but also a great pain id have yet to understand. His lips were soft and pink, and i would watch them as he spoke sometimes. I was so much shorter than he was, it hurt my neck to have to tilt my head back to meet his eyes sometimes. But every inch of him was beautiful, so i didn't mind studying his mouth much either. Moreover, Sols' teeth were straight, and glittering white. I loved the way his mouth would curve when he'd speak vowel sounds, and the tenderness he gave to them. His voice like warm milk and honey, wrapping me in lullabies of safety and home. His arms often wrapped around me in such a way that reminded me of birds, gentle so as not to harm the poor fragile thing within them, but also intended to give shelter and safety to the tenuous child.
Sol and i weathered many storms. Hurricanes of emotion, typhoons of lies, tornadoes of anger, every problem one could possibly imagine that was released from Pandora's box, we experienced. But somehow we always managed to pick up the pieces, pile up the broken boards and start again. Sometimes the damage was not too terrible, and all it took was a few apologies and a long night of crying to fix. Other times required packing our bags, and venturing on our own for a while. But ultimately our hearts wandered back to each other without fail, and wed begin again. Fixing, adjusting, compromising until we got it right. Sometimes it was i who had to adjust, other times it was Sol. but through it all there was love, trust and hope. Trust is the foundation of all relationships. I trusted Sol with my life.
There was always something inside me that pulled me to him like a magnet. Somehow i knew that Sol and i would be together forever. When our worlds collided, they became inseparable and needed the both of us to keep it in balance. Without one of us, the world seemed to crumble. It was if he was the sun, and i, the moon. He gave life and love room to grow. I gave sweet relief and tender care. I strongly feel that without him i would shrink and wither into nothingness.
I often cry. My mother says i'm too sensitive, i believe i got it from her. I never wanted him to see me cry, the acid tears leaving craters and canyons burned into my cheeks wasn't exactly a romantic sight to behold. It was as if the light in my eyes escaped through the burning hot tears. Id build things up inside until i was bursting at the seams, and then eventually all at once it was like someone popped the balloon holding all the stress. A flood of tears and sobs would devastate the snotty sleeves of my favorite sweater. He'd find me shaking, broken and alone in a dark room somewhere, exhausted from crying. Approaching me as if i was a wounded animal, he'd slowly wrap his arms around me and kiss my head as he pulled me into his lap. Rocking back and forth until my sobs were sniffles, and my shaking was only shivering, he waited to ask me what was wrong. Even if i chose not to answer, he'd stay with me in his lap like that until i was fast asleep.
This was all back in our younger days of course, as we started to grow old we also grew wiser, and more mature. Most people around us matured as well. There was less fuss, and many of us either buried the hatchet, or were already in a casket. Some people from my younger past, and his as well, passed away before their time. It was always devastating, no matter who it happened to be.Sometimes the person was a bully, a friend, a family member. Or even a stranger who knew someone in common. The fact that so many people, from different backgrounds, with different personalities, were dying young, really opened everyone's eyes, it taught us that we are all mortal, and that we should love one another. Because when they're gone, no matter who they were or what they did, they mattered to someone. Or maybe the problem was, that they just didn't. So we all wept. For each friend, for each person we had beef with, for each stranger whose families had no comfort, we wept. It was hard on me, but especially Sol. him most, i believe, because he never wanted to talk about it. He would be clearly hurting, but refused to let it show. He was so strong, and although he didn't have to, he went through most things alone to protect me. To protect my own emotions, and my sanity. I would worry, and something he never quite understood was that it's more worrying not to know. But i always had faith in my sunshine. And he always pulled through. As we aged, he eventually learned that he could, in fact, express his hurt and issues. In those moments, id just hold him tight to me, and hum. I never really did know if he liked it when i would sing, he said he did. But then again, he was too sweet to ever say otherwise. Wed cuddle for hours until he either fell asleep or felt better. He was soft, but he didn't like to show it. And up until now, i never told his secret.
In our old age, death has become more and more familiar with those around us. It is only Sol and i against the world it would seem, but even as i write, our health is declining. I call upon our old memories to dance across the lines of this paper, and bring us some comfort as we reminisce about what was, and will always be.
