What I'd do for Love

Justin

I called off the meeting with everyone. Taking a step outside of the alleyway, (not too far, still bloodied) I called Red. He picked up in two rings.
"Yeah? Everyone is about to step out and meet."
"I... I can't make it." I said bluntly.
"What?? Why?!" He retorted. Jeez, he sounded really mad. Like, REALLY mad.
"I.. I just can't. I'm sorry. Something popped up" I replied. My voice sounded hollow. Blunt. Dead.
"Alright. You sound upset. Look, if you need me, call me, alright? It's cool, I'll take loads of photos of us all so you can feel like your there." Red made a capture noise.
"Hah... thanks bud" I said "I've really gotta go through. I'll try and find you on Sunday" I said
"Yeah. Sounds good. See you soon" he hung up. I took a breath, and went back into the alley. Picking up the receptionist, I placed her gently into the dumpster, as if she was just sleeping. I then proceeded to dig through her pockets. Come on, a pretty girl like her must... I found what I was looking for.
A lighter.
My fingerprints were all over her. I'd seen too many crime series's and read too many novels to know that that's not what I want. At all. With a heavy heart, and an even heavier hand, I broke the top of the lighter, allowing the flame to coarse all over the plastic. Quickly, making sure not to burn myself, I threw it into the dumpster, watching it alight the receptionist. Watching it spread over her, coaxing her skin to turn red, blister, boil as she laid there. Her eyes melted into a jelly-like liquid which seemed into the flames, making a coarse, wet sound. Her dress, company issued, burned first. The body went next. And I stood there and watched. I stood there, bloodied, frenzied, and unmatched, and just watched. What else could I do? She'd report me, they'd think it was me, and she was dead already. Maybe I am going crazy.... huh. The fire was starting to claim the dumpster, turning it into her funeral pyre. A tobacco smell suddenly spilled into the air. So she did smoke. I laughed. I knew too well... I had to her out of here, in any way possible. I took my coat off, empties it into my pockets, and threw it over my shoulder. Now my face and trousers were covered. Hopefully, I could make it into a bathroom without being spotted. Fuck it. I had to go. Running out of the alleyway, I didn't think I'd ever find the killer. I thought the guilt would rack me forever.
Turns out I was wrong.

I made it into a public bathroom. I can't remember the direction I went. All I know is is that I wasn't spotted. Not once. No one looked at me, no one ran away, no one offered help... As soon as I entered, I ran towards the mirror and stubbed my face with water. I didn't stop. I wanted to erase the memory of what happened, and leave it forever. When i looked up, my face was clear, so I did a good job. Ah well. At least I looked less terrifying. Less of an actual killer. Ugh. My eyes were still wide open from what I saw, what I did. Burning her.... what sort of sick freak am I? No, I panicked. Just panicking. It's okay. They'll never find her now. Maybe it was the knocked out guy.  Maybe it was some other creep. I mean it can't have been the knockout: he's in jail. Grey stayed behind to make sure he was going there. I ran my fingers through my hair, making sure I looked applaudable, and stepped back outside. The sun was as bright as the flames I burned her with. The floor was as smooth as her skin before it blistered. The people were-
Stop. Breathe.
I headed back home, keeping my eye out for the group. I said I wasn't coming, so being seen here alone would be a dick move on my half. Weaving through the alleyways and back passes, I managed to make it out. The city was vibrant and bright as it was, people enjoying their Saturday as they should. I wasn't.

Back home, I took another shower, letting the water pour over me, massaging the worry, stress, and insanity I'd gained through my trip. Stepping out and drying myself, I sank into the sofa, hitting the button. I plugged my phone in next to me, and tried to move on from what I saw. I wasn't as effected as I thought. What I mean is, I wasn't rocking back and forth, begging for death, I was just shaken. People die everyday. Still, I managed to climb back into my head and cling onto my Sanity. Slowly, I absorbed and moved on with what I'd seen, but if never move on from what I had done. What I had done. Not him. Me. Me. Me.
We all make mistakes. My mistake was trusting people. My mistake was not working out that people aren't always what they seem. That people lie. That it's a lot easier to kill- no. I mean stop someone. Heh. I would never kill anyone.
Liar.

My phone rang.
"Oi oi." Red said
"Hey. How was it then?" I asked
"We all turned up. Apart from Grey and you, but I'm sure you found him." Red replied.
"Yeah... I did. Heh.." I left off.
"Are you alright? You sounded really upset earlier. Sorry for only thinking about myself earlier." Red sounded upset. Actually upset. This is a first...
"Yeah it's fine. I'd rather not speak about it. If that's alright" I said, pleading he wouldn't try.
"Yeah it's fine. Of course. I'm sure I'll see you soon. Listen, I've got someone over. I just wanted to check on you." Red got urgent all of a sudden. "I'll catch you later!" He said as he hung up.
"O-o-okay." I said, even though no one could hear me. I put the phone down. Heh. He has her over, I'm guessing. Well, I hope they have fun together....
That was my last thought before I nodded off, having a nightmare about a masked killer setting a bin on fire. He was laughing. A long, hard, echoing laugh that scraped their throat as it left.
Killer. Killer. You know what you did. You killed her. Don't even think about not imaging it. I know you can hear me. Hey! You can't ignore me.
I'm not
So why are you still breathing? Any man would die after this.
'I didn't know her. She wanted to die. I have all the excuses in the world.
My insanity went silent.