An Algorithm For Counting

There are those people– yes, those people. You know them, don't you? People who take pride in their own lack of faith. 

But what fun is that? People were honestly quite dumb in that sense. After all, what use was it to be jaded? Why allow your eyes to turn dull and let your dreams be crushed? What's the point in life if you don't try? 

I laugh at them. I laugh at the obvious way they reveal themselves. Look, look, that girl over there is like all the others–cursing the world and attempting to crush it underneath their heels! Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! Do they really think they're so cool just because they aren't optimistic and find it harder to trust others? Ooooh, so cool!

It's also suuuuper annoying whenever they show these "cool" characters on TV and everyone fawns over them. Ahhh, look, Keith has such a tragic backstory! And then after that, everyone wants to be special and untrusting of the world! Why there's nothing more tragic than that itself!

You see, they just don't understand. Is being jaded really all that worth it? Trust me I've tried–

Helplessness and hatred wrap itself around my neck. A burning need to mean something to someone and yet, I can't bring myself to even stand in another's presence when I know it's all just fake fake fake fakefakefakefake–

–And it's super boring! It's simple, really. Life would be so much more if–

I hate them I hate them I hate them all. I hate the way they all cry and moan about the smallest fucking things. Straighten your back, bare your fangs. Just don't fucking wait for someone to do something for you. You're all morons who can't take care of yourselves. Pathetic. Nothing but dirt. You say you're busy or you just don't have time but isn't that just an excuse because you can't even arrange yourself or think outside the box. Move, dammit, move and do something you useless cow–

–we were all positive and think the best of others! Have faith! It's super easy. Just like counting actually! 

1

When feeling anger, simply trap it in you. If that rage gets out, then you're just being immature and your feelings obviously aren't valid– especially, if you make someone cry! Then, it'll be all about them! Anger will just make it seem as if you're unreasonable! Make sure to smile!

2

When feeling sadness, fucking man up! Because crybabies are those who are mocked and gets yelled at. No one wants to hear your noisy voice! It'll just end up making people's ears bleed! Also, if you cry, you will just end up looking like an attention seeker. So, suck in those tears and pinch yourself until you're numb! Make sure to smile!

3

Don't feel like talking to people and just want to be alone? Wow, you must be stupid! No one in life and just gets away without having to say something to someone else. You're pretty arrogant to think you're an exception from that! Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk until your voice is raw and you can no longer keep up a smile. As long as the other person is satisfied, who fucking cares? Make sure to smile!

4

Can't control your emotions and end up bursting them out? Hah, loser! All you can do from then is to apologize. How dare you, after all! No one wants to hear or see or anything bout you! Who cares if you're under the weather or you're super giddy about something? How embarrassing. But don't forget to smile!

5

Disgusted? Uncomfortable? Tired? Smile.

6

Continue following these steps!

7

Continue restraining yourself! 

8

And when you finally can't take it anymore

9

Shut yourself in your room for forever!

10

And then you'll know for sure that you've failed.