Married to a Monster

Twenty

Things slowly began to change as the seasons began to.

You quit school for a short time, pouring all of your energy into your family's business and while it wasn't what you wanted, your parents were happy.

While Jongdae and Minseok would always be your best friends, you saw them a lot less. Minseok in particular – who you would occasionally see leave and come home but you kept your distance. The two of you still seemed to be healing and you didn't want to reopen any wounds. Instead of hanging out with them and Baekhyun, you became close to Kyungsoo who was quiet but a lot like you in ways. He had loved Hani and lost her, just as you had, he enjoyed writing where you enjoyed painting, and the two of you both had a deep love for classical music.

Branching out from your two friends wasn't easy but in a way, you knew it had to be. For so many years they had held you up and now you were finally standing on your own feet.

Outside of Kyungsoo, you would go on runs with Yixing twice a week and you had even made a friend named Kat that you met when you and Kyungsoo had volunteered at the nearby animal shelter.

Life had started to finally pick up and while you thought things would progress between you and Jongin, they felt as if they were going in slow motion while the world around you spun.

Your old bedroom had been turned into yours and Jongin's master bedroom the way it was supposed to be and his room was now your art room. Even with sharing a bed, cuddling at night, kissing in the morning, and sweet 'I love you's', you didn't feel like you had reached the 'boyfriend and girlfriend' stage.

Sometimes you guys would go out to dinner but the relationship never seemed to get more than surface deep and it was starting to bother you. Technically, the two of you were already married but you didn't feel like his wife.

It didn't help that the two of you had years of sexual tension to compensate for that Jongin made no move to remove.

In a desperate attempt for some advice you had once brought it up to Kyungsoo and he looked like he almost had a heart attack.

"You're like a little sister. There is no way I'm giving you advice on seducing Kai," he had told you.

But it was more than seducing him. You just wanted to get to that point in your relationship. Things needed to evolve because something just felt off and as if there was no passion or fire behind the love Jongin had for you lately.

He was loving you gently and that was the last thing you wanted. You wanted a passionate and fiery love that made you explode. You were sick of being the one that everyone was too afraid to break. It made sense why you were that in the past, but you weren't the same girl anymore.

Was it too soon get to that point with Jongin?

You thought it wasn't as you had almost reached that point with Minseok not that long ago - and the thought made your heart clench uncomfortably.

Sex could complicate things but it could also open things up and at this point, you were certain it was the only thing you could do to get to where you wanted to be in the relationship.

So by the time Jongin's birthday rolled around, your friend Kat had convinced you to surprise him.

"I don't know, Kat, he looks at me like I might break," you said with a sigh while the two of you looked around the lingerie shop.

She glanced back at you with a devilish smirk, "This will help!" And she pulled at a red see-through fabric, "How can he think you're breakable if you're dressed like this?" And she held up a tiny thong.