Dangerline

CHAPTER 38-THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING...

      I played with Pinkly on the floor for a little bit while Brian took care of our bags and set out a food and water dish for her. "Ash come here" I looked up to find Brian's hand out stretched to me, an indication he was ready to talk. We settled onto one of the beds and began talking...well Brian did most of the talking while I listened, trying to control my emotions. "Shit hit the fan tonight" he started off wearily, looking at some invisible spot on the wall while stroking my arm with his thumb. "I told Monique I wanted a divorce tonight." My eyes grew big at that statement as I watched exhaustion settle in on his face. "I told her she had it coming to her and after this stunt she pulled on you today it was the last straw. She of course freaked the fuck out, called me every name in the book and then begged me to give her another chance." I felt my stomach fill with lead when he didn't go on, was he going to give her another chance after all? "Go on" I whispered with barely contained emotions. "She of course accused me of having an affair with you and that I was clouded by lust and that you were Satan's spawn." At that I laughed and rolled my eyes "She's the one that's Satan spawn." Brian chuckled softly and closed his eyes, laying his head back against the wall. "She's going to make my life a living hell now and I'm afraid she's going to be watching for any sort of slip up on my part...which includes you." I sat there and processed what he said for a moment, alternating between wanting to cry and wanting to punch her square in the mouth. "So, what's going to happen then?" I asked softly after a few moments of silence. "I'm afraid after tonight it's going to be next to impossible for us to be together."

As soon as the words left his mouth I felt the stupid tears fill my eyes as well as anger surge through my blood...that bitch! Instead of fighting the tears I let them fall, streaking down my cheeks as I hugged my knees to my chest. "I hate her" I muttered miserably, my voice thick from my tears. "Come here baby" Brian stated softly, pulling me back into his chest as he spoke till I was cuddled into him. I spent a good five minutes calming myself down from crying, concentrating on Brian's even breathing and soft strokes to my skin with his thumb. "I don't know how I'm going to handle this" I finally admitted in a soft voice, refusing to look Brian in the eye upon my admission. Brian kissed my head softly and pulled me in closer. "I know Ash, it's gonna be fucking hell on me too. I'm gonna try like hell but until this divorce is final I know she's going to make my life a living fucking hell." He sounded so defeated that I immediately felt bad for even crying over the fact that I wasn't going to be able to see him...here he was going to be dealing with an irate soon to be ex-wife on a day to day basis. "I'm so sorry babe" I mumbled softly "I wish I could make her disappear." Brian took a deep breath, looking troubled as he stared me straight in the eye and spoke. "I want you to start dating Adam again." I sat there staring at him, mouth opened as a roaring sound filled my ears...did I hear him right? "Brian...no" I stated miserably, my voice thick with tears as I shook my head while climbing into his lap. "I will not...absolutely no...never...Brian...I-I love you!" I vaguely heard a miserable groan escape his lips as he held me tight and kissed my head. "I don't want it either Ash...I would rather cut my fingers off and never play guitar again than see him with you but it's the perfect cover up. She'll see you with...HIM and leave you alone."

I sat up on Brian's lap and pleaded with my eyes, holding his shirt tightly in both hands while tears poured from my eyes. His own eyes looked miserable as we continued in a heated manner, me refusing to do it and Brian saying the same things repeatedly. "Ash it's the only way to keep her away from you!" "Let her come near me again! I DON'T CARE!" I wailed loudly, my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. The next thing I knew, I was on my back beneath Brian and he was kissing me with an intensity I had never felt from him before...like he was kissing me for the last time. I sobbed against his mouth, tasting my own tears as his hands attempted to sooth me but tonight I was inconsolable. We spent all night having sex, as if we were trying to get our fill for the time we would be apart but I knew that no matter how many times we had sex that night I would never ever get my fill.

Morning came too soon for us and the entire ride back home I kept trying to reason with Brian, to make him see reason but his mind was set. "Baby please" he groaned out in anguish, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It HAS to be this way! That idiot is the perfect cover up and I don't trust her to not do something stupid if she doesn't see you with someone!" We sat at the back of the bar in the early morning hours arguing some more before Brian's phone rang. "Fuck" he muttered miserably, his voice oddly thick with unshed tears. "Matt needs his vehicle back...god kill me but I have to go. Come here and give me a kiss." We met over the center console and kissed in such a manner I could taste his heartbreak on my lips, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek. "I love you Ashley...so, so much. Don't ever forget that baby. Okay? Never ever forget..." I remember telling Brian I loved him too but my voice was so thick with tears and heartbreak that it came out distorted as I slipped from the SUV and watched him drive away.

I made my way up to my apartment somehow, throwing myself on the bed and crying myself to sleep, not carrying if I didn't wake up ever again. Vaguely I started hearing a knocking at my door but I was trying to ignore it and slip back into a false sense of unconsciousness but the knocking continued till I relented and got up to answer it. "Adam...what are you doing here?!" I whispered softly, staring at my ex-boyfriend. "You asked me to come over silly" he laughed easily, showing off his blue eyes. I sat there staring at him in a dumbfounded manner, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Um, you wanna come in for a second? I think I hear my phone buzzing." I hadn't really but I needed to get to it to find answers. I heard the door latch shut quietly as Adam entered my apartment but my mind was busy fumbling with my phone...I knew I hadn't texted Adam anything of the sort but sure enough, there was a text to Adam sent at 3:46 a.m. DAMMIT BRIAN! He must have texted Adam while I was sleeping and pretended to be me. Adding insult to injury I noticed that his number was erased, leaving me no way of contacting him. I remember feeling a pair of hands at my shoulders and I so wanted to tell him to get bent but what was done was done, instead I turned to Adam and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Ashley I'm really sorry about the way I acted on New Year's" he started softly, his thumb brushing across my chin. I felt my stomach roll at his touch, I was Brian's to touch...no one else's but I knew it had to be done so Adam and I set out about making amends...