I cut you off because I thought i wouldn't be scared.
I'm still scared and less angry. Scared for the future and what you and it might bring.
I'm scared that you'll bring more bad nights. More nights of crying and cutting.
But I want them back because the good nights are what give me the slight rush of happiness when thought about.
I want the 3am text conversations and the wired comment stream.
But I'm upset with you. Because you didn't see.
You did see me cry when they "found your body"
You didn't see me scream not caring about the neighbors.
You see me hyperventilating or hurting myself.
Of course I'm thinking that your thinking "that's nothing what I went through" and your right, it probably isn't but I was a lot for me.
I didn't eat or sleep much after that but I got better I assume.
But you didn't affect me only, you affected others and I know.
You could've just left without saying anything. It would've been a lot quicker.
I guess I could make a whole list of things you could've done but that won't change anything would it, no.
I've realized that you only care about yourself. And it's true. You never actually help when someone feels bad you just type random words which personally I find annoying. Because I've actually helped you. Or Maybe I just don't realize it and my anger is getting the best of me.
This is not an apology so don't take it as one.
It's just kind of a rough explanation.
@phuzzy
