January. // z.m. au

Chapter 25

"Earlier," he spoke in between kisses, "when I wanted to ask you something." He pulled away for a slight second to look at me. I nodded, letting him know that I did in fact remember. How could I forget when it happened about an hour ago?

This time when our mouths met again, his lips moved a little slower with mine. It was like he was trying to make me feel something, which I did, I always did. His lips were smooth, gliding effortlessly against mine. His tongue slid over my lower lip and I gasped into his mouth. He made my heart beat faster and slower all at the same time and I wasn't even sure that that was possible up until now. I found out a lot of things with Zayn; he was like a treasure map and I was a pirate set to find their gold.

"Well, m'gonna ask you now," he mumbled and that made me chuckle so hard because he was just adorable and how was it possible to be such a badass and be so utterly adorable, too? It was an unruly contradiction, to put it in the easiest way.

"What?" he chuckled with me, his head falling back into the sofa.

"You just said you wanted to ask me something and then you say, 'well, I'm gonna ask you now'." I mocked him. That made me laugh even harder. "Do me a favor and stop being so cute, yeah?" I leaned over to kiss his cheek. When I did, he held me close to him, tilting his head to look me in the eyes.

"I don't wanna be cute," he fake pouted. He wasn't really helping with the cuteness, if I must say.

"Well then don't pout. It makes it worse." I giggled, flicking the bottom of his nose. And then he frowned a little and I laughed a bit more and yeah, he'd always be cute no matter what.

"Am I still cute?" He asked, still frowning, mouth scrunched together.

"Yes, you might've even moved to the next level and became adorable, too."

"Don't wanna be adorable," he grunted, tangling his fingers with mine absentmindedly, bringing our joined hands up to his mouth and playfully biting the tips of my fingers.

I couldn't help the hitch in my throat, the tightening of my stomach, the excessive beating of my heart. I was almost one hundred percent positive that Zayn made me crazy, if not that then damn near, borderline, one foot hanging off the edge. He could make me feel like a thousand different emotions all at once. He could make my palms sweat and my knees shake and my heart stop if he wanted to. But that was just Zayn and that was the price I had to pay with him.

"Don't wanna be anything else but yours," he whispered against my neck. I froze, not sure if I heard him correctly or not. Just as he pressed a light kiss at the base of my throat, I gently grabbed a handful of the front of his shirt in my hand, pulling him up to look at me.

"What?" I questioned, my voice almost too faint to hear. You see, it sounded a little like he said he wanted to be mine, but maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe this was like my own private episode of Punk'd.

He smiled lightly, making me want to curl up into a ball on the floor. He squeezed my fingers slightly and licked his lips before he spoke. "S'what I wanted to ask you at Louis' party. And what m'gonna ask you right now, okay?"

"Mhm," I nodded slowly, not able to trust my voice in the slightest bit. I felt like I was on the verge of passing out or something along the lines of that. But I couldn't pass out because then I'd miss the most important part.

"I mean, I don't know how else to say it without putting it right out there. Like, I wanna say it without, like, saying it, but -- I just..."

Say it. C'mon, Zayn, say it.

"You can tell me, yeah?"

"Yeah," he nodded. He started to play with a strand of my hair randomly, maybe to distract him from what was to come next or help him calm down a little. It kind of soothed me, honestly. I hoped it did the same for him as well. "It's just -- when I think about us," he gestured between us. "I think of like, like, peanut butter and jelly or lemons and sugar -- wait, no, that was really stupid." he frowned, but I thought it was sweet. "Like, socks on feet -- no, that's also dumb -- more like a sun and it's sky or an artist with his paintbrush, do you get what I'm trying to say?"

And yeah, I did, and I wasn't sure when my heart would give out, but I assumed it would be soon. Because if he kept this up, I'd be dead within the next hour. But at least I'd die on a happy note. And at least I'd die with Zayn by my side.

Okay, maybe I should stop thinking about death around him. It was getting a bit weird.

"Like, when I'm with you I feel like all of those things; I feel like I always want you there by my side and I just think about your smile and your laugh and your you, and I want it to be all mine. Wait, no, that sounds a bit possessive." He chuckled nervously. I laughed, of course, because it was honestly by far the greatest thing ever. "Ugh -- I mean, I want your you," he waved his arms around as he gestured towards me. "To be a part of me and my me to be a part of you."

"Okay, yeah, you lost me," I chuckled, scratching the side of my head. Zayn let out a small whine and just kissed me. He smacked his lips against mine and just kissed me. He kissed me like he meant it, as if it was the last thing he could do on earth. And I felt every single part of it. I felt every emotion, every sensation behind it and I finally understood what it all meant.

"Yes," I spoke against his mouth. He pulled away from me, frown ever so present on his features.

"Huh?" he breathed, still very much confused.

"I get it now," I said. "So yes. My answer is yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I'm telling you yes."

"Positive?"

"One hundred percent," I laughed, kissing him once more. "Now shut up or else I'll change my mind."

"Yes ma'am," he laughed, my favorite laugh -- the one with the crinkly eyes and the tongue behind his teeth.

"Wait," I paused just as he was about to connect our lips again. "Just to clarify, you know so we're on the same page here, does this mean we're like, like, a thing now, or?"

"If by thing you mean I'm your, you know, boyfriend and you're my girlfriend, then yeah, I guess we're a thing."

"Okay," I almost squealed but I stopped it from coming out because I didn't want to embarrass myself. But I was beyond excited and happy and the butterflies were at it again. They'd always be at it because as long as I was with Zayn, the butterflies would be right here riding along with us.

And I'd be lying if I didn't say today was one of the best days of my life because, come on, how could it not be? I was Zayn's and he was mine, and yeah, there was no place else I'd rather be.

***

So, cool news, you guys, my story is being translated into German! How fucking awesome is that?

Sorry for the wait, I hope you all like this chapter ☻