Falling Light 1.5: The Chaos that Crawls

Chapter Six

 The Bamboo Forest of the Lost. Legend has it that the forest was not originally a part of Gensokyo, but was washed over to Gensokyo by a big tsunami. Given the nature of the forest, it is very easy to get lost. There are no clearings, the ground is mostly flat and indistinguishable, and the bamboo grows quickly resulting in a change of scenery. It sort of reminds me of the suicide forest which is called Aokigahara.

It earned a notorious reputation as being the second most popular place to commit suicide in the world. Since the nineteen fifties, an average of thirty people a year have committed suicide here, but some recent numbers have been much higher with one hundred becoming the record in two thousand and three. Sadly, many families don't discover what happened to their loved ones until the body search that is conducted by police and volunteers once a year.

The number one suicide spot is the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It earned an unenviable record of being the place where more people in the world commit suicide than any other. Official suicide records were up to twelve hundred by two thousand and five. Because of the design of the bridge, barriers could cause a safety concern in a strong windstorm. In two thousand and eight, the government agreed to install a plastic-covered stainless steel net to be positioned below the bridge. It caused forty to fifty million dollars, but it hasn't even been installed yet. Because of the height of the bridge, only two percent of people survived suicide attempts there.

I remember that I once tried to kill myself before until I knew that it wouldn't be worth it at all. There are so many instances where I thought it would solve my problems because I didn't want to live in this world anymore. Being in Gensokyo has tormented my mind in such a way that escaping it by killing myself would have at least let me be free from that torment. The one problem is that Yukari wouldn't leave me to die just like that. She wanted to break me physically, emotionally, and mentally.

As if she would grant death that easily. Someone would have to be lucky enough to get that. I doubt that Yukari would let someone die without breaking them apart. Those that do get to die by her hand have it easy. The only thing that remains is a corpse or a trace of someone's remains.

I don't know what it is that Yukari does to her victims if she ever shows interest to them. The implications of a rampant, god-like youkai running around doing as she pleases. She either does it out of interest or boredom. Neither of those things should be together when it comes to Yukari. That's what makes her so horrifying.

Even if I were to kill myself, Yukari wouldn't let me die. She'd keep me alive for her own amusement. She might have the same intentions, but I can't be sure of that. I'd be surprised if she gives me some sort of task where she is serious for once. It might be a trick that she's trying to play on me.

Yukari knows how to mess with my head, no matter how calm I am. She can annoy me too well since I try not to look angry, but I sound angry. It's like the calm kind of anger. It doesn't really help. It just makes Yukari happy.

I can't do anything about it. As much as I want to, I'm powerless against an extremely powerful being that can manipulate borders. Even when I managed to prove that my will is stronger than my despair, she still has power over me. I don't want her to know that. If we fought again, I'd prove that my will is stronger than ever.

I'm much stronger than I was before. Not enough to combat Yukari, that's for sure. If I was some shonen protagonist, I would pull off some stupid ass pull that would let me take the win. Unfortunately, real life doesn't work like that. I'm outclassed in experience, power, intelligence, and everything else in this world.

Well, I'm not outclassed completely. I remember sparring against Alice and she used her dolls as a way to distract me. It was a complete stalemate. While my reactions and speed are quick enough to close the distance, Alice's strategies and battle experience more than make up her lack of close combat since I couldn't really land a hit on her, but at the same time, she couldn't get a hit on me. Basically, it ended in a draw where I needed more experience.