sad stuff

Friends?

I'm tired of my friends not asking of I'm ok. Don't get me wrong I love all of my friends and all of their flaws. The thing is all I ever do is help. I never receive help. I always try to make people happy, even if it ruins my happiness. Sure I could say screw it.

But I won't.

I care too much, and that's my problem.

I want a friend to ask me if I'm ok and force me to tell them that I'm not ok even when I say the biggest lie I will ever tell them...

"Yeah I'm good".

They all know that's a lie. Rather than make me speak up they go with it. They don't want to deal with the amount of work that I am. They just complain about their lives. I know this may sound rude to say but I'm tired of everyone shit. Why do I have to make sure everyone's fine and dandy if I end up being more mentally fucked up and broken than everyone else combined.

What did I do to deserve this?

Why can't I be happy?

Why can't I be loved?

Why can't I have real friends?