The Player's Game [Louis T. AU]

Chapter 17

"Done" I smile at my masterpiece

Chelsea and I hold up our fingers to our face, trying on our new facial hair

We burst out in laughter at the sight of each other

"Picture time" Monica says, holding her finger up to her face as well

Derek crouched in close to us, leaning into the picture

"Say cheese!"

"Louis....Louis?" I snap about of my flashback, my eyes now focusing on Chelsea. My heart sinks as I realize she was taking down that picture...as if to erase the memory..a memory that I wouldn't want to forget for the world.
Whether it pains me to think about it or not.

"That was a good picture, wasn't it" I say softly

She nodded, her gaze shifting away from me "Listen, I didn't know that you were going to be here. I-..I'll just come back later"

"No need. I'll make sure he gets it" I smile slightly, holding out my hand.

She stares at me for a moment before
placing the screwdriver in my hand

She turns around without another word, taking a step to leave

"Wait" I say before she can take another

She reluctantly turns around, her eyes now locked with mine

"I'm almost done with my half of the project..we could finish working on it together if you'd like"

She shook her head gently "I don't think that's a good idea"

I nod in response, feeling defeated at her answer

"I've gotta go" she says softly, stepping backwards before turning around to leave

When she rounds the corner, I restlessly run my fingers through my hair, letting out a sigh. I pull my
Phone out to check the time, and decide to go eat at the dining hall

I sit in front of my food, wondering why I even wanted to eat, I'm not even the least bit hungry. I haven't had my normal appetite ever since-

"Man" Derek drops his fork, leaning back in his chair "eat your food"

"I'm not very hungry" I shrug

Derek groans, running his eyes before roughly placing his fists back on the table. His eyes now solely on me

"Louis, how many breakups have you gone through, huh? How many times have you done something wrong in a relationship and the girl dumps you and never talks to you again"

I open my mouth to answer, but Derek speaks instead

"There's no way you have a number because its too many to count" he states.

I can't help but feel kind of offended by his words, but I realize he's right. One hundred percent right.

"You got over them in what...twenty minutes?" He gives me a look "you weren't even dating Chelsea. You're letting this ruin you"

"Chelsea's different. I don't really understand it myself" I say, now leaning in the back of my
chair as well. I feel like a girl talking about my feelings like this with Derek. Admitting that Chelsea has in fact ruined me in a way no other girl has...no other girl will. Derek's right. I've never
Acted this way after a break up, but that's because I've never felt this way after a break up...i didnt know i was capable of feeling this way...and it's killing me.

"I don't know what's wrong with me" I interject "I'm acting like a little girl. Guys with lip rings and tattoos aren't supposed to act this way" I joke in an attempt to lighten my own mood

Derek laughs under his breath, leaning back over the table to finish his meal. I finally pick over my food, eating what I like.

-Chelsea-

"Don't just throw it away" Monica says, pointing to the picture I had taken off my wall earlier that day.

"Well I don't want it on my wall. It's kind of depressing waking up every morning and having to look at it."

"I'll take it then...it can go on my wall. I'm always here anyway. You won't have to worry about seeing it. Besides, it's too good of a picture to just trash it"

Monica stays quiet for a moment before clearing her throat, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear "Derek said you ran into Louis when you went to return the screwdriver" I couldn't read the expression on her face

"..Yeah" I reach up and place a calendar over where the picture used to be

"He was really depressed at dinner-Derek said" she continued

"Monica, why are you telling me this" I frown

"I don't get it" Monica says, standing up from my bed "it's like...it's like you aren't even mad at Louis anymore." She begins slowly pacing back and forth, her arms crossed "you're just sad. And it doesn't make sense. You're sad that you aren't with him and you miss him, but you won't let him get close to you again..even though he desperately wants to" she stops walking and stares at me, her eyes searching mine "what's stopping you? Being with him made you so happy. You have the chance to have that again Chelsea"

I take a moment to soak in what was just said. My heart aching every time she says Louis

"I don't really know what's going on Monica" I groan, tugging at my hair slightly "he irritates me to no end, always bugging me and making my life harder..but I just can't forget him..I can't forget all the fun times we had, his British accent and his foolish, foolish tattoes" I rant, taking my turn to start pacing "His stupid lip ring that he constantly plays with that it totally unsanitary." I go on "I hate him, i hate him so much. but I love him at the same time" I stop in my tracks, my mind repeating what I just said at full speed

I love him at the same time

Love

"You love him?" Monicas eyes focused on me

"No" I shook my head "no, I don't love him" I'm not sure if I'm trying to convince her..or myself

"You said you lo-"

"I don't" I interrupt, not wanting to hear her say it "I didn't know what I was saying. It was a slip of the tongue..that's all"

I can't believe I said I loved him..I don't. I don't love him. I can't love him