my best friend | grayson dolan

sixteen

"cameron, stop."
he bent me over the couch and pulled my skinny blue jeans down. he unbuckled his pants and pushed himself inside me. i screamed in pain.

"please stop!" i begged.
"no can do princess. you're just too good."
i screamed again, feeling something drip down my thighs.

it was blood.
again.

"madison! maddy!" my mother shouted.
"are you okay? you've been waking up like this for the past month."
"fine." i turned back, sleeping on my left.

i heard her close the door and i got up, sighing.
after a week of pain in my lower area, i decided  to call the doctor. today was the day.

i didn't want to go by myself but i had no other choice. nobody else knew about what happened.

i stood from my bed, getting ready. i put on a purple sweater and black yoga pants. i brushed my teeth and washed my face, then did my hair. i didn't bother to put makeup on, what was the point?

i walked out without getting breakfast, i haven't been bothered to eat lately. all i've been doing is ignoring my friends and laying in my bed. watching movies.

my mother's wedding date is coming up soon, in a month. i have no interest in going, but it's my choice.

when i got to the clinic, i did a quick prayer, hoping nothing was wrong and went inside.
"beer. madison beer." i said to the girl at the counter.

"mrs.partridge will be right with you. you can sit down." i gave her a smile and sat down, picking at my nails.

"madison?" i heard a few minutes later.
"i'm mrs.partridge, i'm ready for you."
i followed her to her office and laid down on the bed.

"how are you doing today?"
"not so good."
"what's the issue."
"i've been feeling pain...down there. some random days i wake up with blood dripping down my thighs, and i haven't gotten my period. it's not my period because it happens like three times a week."

"when did this happen? how?"
"a month ago."
"how?" she gave me a concerning look.

i couldn't lie to my doctor. she would give me a different answer than the actual truth.

"i was...raped." i whispered.
"can you speak up?"
"i was raped." i said clearly, looking directly into her eyes. i don't how i got this confidence, but i was loving it.

"i'm incredibly sorry to hear that. you don't deserve it. have you reported this?"
"no. i've decided not to press charges."
"sweetie are you sure that's the-"
"please, mrs.partridge. i just wanna know if i'm okay." i said my voice weak.

"okay." she slightly sighed.
"let's start testing you."

—after she got tested

"ms.beer, we have your results. we know what wrong." my face fell.
"there's something wrong?" i whined.
"unfortunately."
"w-we'll what is it?"

"you cannot reproduce. which means you can't get pregnant. ever."

i stood silently. that meant i wouldn't be able to have kids of my blood. i thought i knew what real pain was. but i didn't, not until today.

"madison?"
i held onto the doorknob, i felt like i was going to faint. this had to be a joke. all i've ever wanted since i was a child was a kid.

"ms.beer! do you have anyone i can call?"
i thought about my mother. she'd be so hurt if she found out like this. grayson and i weren't talking. ethan and jack tried to contact me, but i just shut them down.