Waterloo

1. Pilot: The Cruiser and The Concert

"Eric, it is time."
Steven Hyde leaned forward, his elbows resting on his legs in a very serious fashion, but it was always a serious matter when it came to alcohol.
"Why can't you do it?" Eric Forman sat on the chair next to him, whining.
"It's your house."
"Your house!" Micheal Kelso emphasized, sitting just behind Hyde. As dull as Kelso was, he was very attentive in matters such as this, mainly, matters pertaining to alcohol.
"It's EJ's house, too!"
Emma Jane Forman looked up from her sketchbook, legs dangling over the deep freeze where she sat. She popped a bubble with her gum. "I have proven myself many times over, often because you weren't man enough to do something. But Hyde's right: it's time...for me to stop doing stuff for you." She hopped off the deep freeze and made her way to stand behind the couch.
"Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities." Hyde said, Kelso tilting his head up toward the party on the floor above them.
"If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me."
"Is anything really worth doing if it doesn't almost kill you?" EJ asked.
"I'm willing to take that risk," Hyde stated bluntly.
"Just remain calm and keep moving," Kelso advised.
"And above all, don't get stuck in my dad's hair," Donna Pinciotti pointed at Eric, leaning back in her chair across the room.
"What's wrong with your dad's hair?" Eric asked, concerned.
"Just...don't look at it," Donna crossed her arms and shivered. EJ shuddered, remembering how it shocked her when she opened the door to greet Bob Pinciotti for the party.
Taking this advice to heart, Eric stood from the couch and turned to go up the stairs, when Hyde caught his face in both hands.
"And Eric...Cold. Definitely cold."
Eric nodded, Hyde released him, and he dashed up the stairs.
"What do think the chances are of him actually dying?" Hyde asked.
EJ laughed and placed herself on the arm of the couch next to him. "I'm betting one in five. But what's really funny is the fact that he could have avoided all of this if he had just gotten some out of the fridge in the garage."
Hyde chuckled. "How mad would he be if worked himself up, evaded your dad, and came back down here to find that we all already had beers?" Hyde smiled at her mischievously. EJ grinned back before the two of them dashed out of the basement door, followed by Kelso and Donna.
They quickly returned to the basement, each with a beer in hand, to find Eric had not yet returned. EJ sat on the couch, leaning on the arm rest and doodling in her notebook. She traced patters and shapes with one hand, sipping her beer with the other. Kelso sat next to her, and Hyde beside him, flipping through a nude magazine they'd found stuffed in the cushions. Kelso repeatedly attempted to lift up EJ's skirt, but was only greeted with a kick from her and a punch in the arm from Hyde.
"Woah, check this out," Hyde smirked as he held open a two page layout out in front of himself and Kelso. Donna leaned over the back of the couch behind them.
"You know, me and EJ see that everyday."
The boys' eyes widened in realization, and they dropped the magazine to turn to EJ. Noticing them staring, she looked up from her drawings and winked dramatically with a click of her tongue.
The quick thumping of shoes on the stairs alerted them to Eric's return.
"Hey!!!" They all cheered, raising their cans in unison.
"Seriously?" He sighed, laying the cans on the table.
"Sorry, man, we got impatient. And, frankly, your sister is just smarter," Hyde explained, taking a second beer from the table.
"Well, clearly, that's not really the case, because dad said he's thinking about giving me the Vista Cruiser!" Eric shouted.
"No, he is not!" EJ retorted as she slapped her notebook shut.
"He is to! He said it himself, just now!"
"Yeah, but there is lots of alcohol flowing at that party. Look, it's even leaking into the basement!" She held up her own beer can, shaking it side to side in emphasis.
"Eric, did I ever tell you how attractive you are?" Donna smiled at him from her seat.
"No."
"Yeah, you told me you thought he was cute." Kelso blurted. EJ rolled her eyes and put her face in her hand.
"N-no I didn't!" Donna laughed uncomfortably.
"Yeah! I remember because you told me not to say anything in front of Eriowwwwww!" He trailed off when EJ smacked the back of his head.
"Let's focus on what's important here, people," Hyde interjected, "Forman stole something. To Forman!" he raised his beer can, prompting everyone to do the same.
"You know what's sad?" Eric said, sitting on the back of the couch with his feet on the cushions, "This is the proudest day of my life!"