Heartstrings

Part 4 - The Conflict

And so history repeats itself.

He either gets jealous, sulk or both over the littlest things Alice does to someone.

And of course, I kept playing my role splendidly. I was there for him during his heartbreaks. I've never really judged him for being that way, honestly. Because I've gone through the same thing, too. But that was all in the past.

I would be lying if I said seeing James breaking down horribly like this didn't hurt me. It did, and it hurt me a lot more than I anticipated.

In the end, he turned out okay after he made up with her.

I was glad, especially because I know whatever I tell him wouldn't solve his problems with her.

But that easiness was only temporary.

Ever since they made up, they became closer in class. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel like I've been kind of forgotten, because that's how I really felt.

I just..... don't know.

I wasn't romantically jealous or anything but it felt like I've been forgotten.

He slowly spent more time with her than spending time with me and our other friend. I know better than anyone that we're just friends while Alice is someone special to James.

But it got me thinking, 'then what about us?'

I thought we promised ourselves to put our friendship first before anything else.

But then again, we are just friends.

I don't have the rights to stop him from talking to her. I don't have the rights to tell him to put me before her as well. Who am I to even get angry on whatever goes on between the both of them? Why would I feel upset if he treasures her more than he treasures our friendship?

I'm a no one.

I'm just a temporary person in everyone's lives.

I jump to conclusions too quickly without even asking him on how he felt

or why did he do such a thing.

I could go ahead and ask, but I'm scared.

It's too personal to ask.

I'm a coward, and a useless friend.

I don't deserve to say a word about how he feels for a person or just anyone. Not now, not ever.

You know what's the next best thing I can do for now?

Enduring.