chapter fifteen

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I don't know why Slughorn even wants me in the Slugclub. Sure, I'm not a bad student, but I'm awful at potions. It's a miracle the classroom's still standing. I suppose it's because of mum. He remembers her as one of his favourite students, but all the same. Harry's there, why take me too? Though I'm not complaining. I'm actually looking forward to the dinner tonight. 

I look at myself in the mirror again as if expecting to see someone different. I don't care what I look like, he said semi-formal and I've put on a collared shirt under a grey/green sweater, my hair pinned back off my face, though a few stray hairs fly around my face regardless of what I do. I'm not one for makeup, mostly because I always run out of time. 

I can't stop thinking about the other day. How Draco sat there crying, heartbroken, you'd think the love of his life had just died. He was so scared, so small, so- I don't know. He won't tell me what it was about. I try to make it normal between us, try not to start fights or ask too many questions in a hopeless attempt at making things like they were. I frown at myself, smoothing my skirt and biting my lip. 

I walk out of the bathroom, and out to the common room, knowing everyone is out there anyway. I enter the warmly lit room, mostly empty as people are still at dinner. Blaise and the others are sitting in our usual spot, talking quietly amongst themselves. I frown. 

"Where's Draco?" I ask, walking over to the back of the couch behind Blaise.

"Oh, he said he had something to do." He answers. Weird. Draco rarely leaves the common room after dinner. I fidget with my skirt, trying not to look concerned. 

"We thought for a second he was going to find you-" Pansy taunts before Millie hits over with a small cushion. 

I sigh, "Was he always this-"

"Stuck up? Stupid? Yes. I for one never thought he'd get a girlfriend who'd hang around for more than a week." Blaise says, 

"Or one night." Daphne puts in, looking up from the braid she's putting in Pansy's hair. 

I roll my eyes. I won't be getting anything useful from them. I shift my weight, scanning their faces for any sign that one of them is lying, but none of them looks even the slightest bit suspicious. I nod to myself, it's probably best to leave now so I'm not late. 

"I should go. See you guys later." I say quietly, Blaise waves at me over his shoulder and the girls call out goodbye as I leave the room. 

"We expect you to be in your bed in the morning!" Daphne calls after me as the common room door closes. I groan, knowing the few students who I'm not close friends with will have heard her loud proclamation about my relationship ringing through the common room. 

I  walk the halls alone, watching my feet as I tread the stone floor, falling into my usual rhythm as the castle passes around me. I ignore the faint sounds of talking and the creaking of the shadows, knowing whatever attention I give them will only slow me down. Where is he? Why am I worried about this? He wouldn't- No he wouldn't. I'm being too clingy. Too dependant. I need to stop. He's his own person. He can do what he wants, regardless of how out of character it may seem. 

I round the corner and arrive at Slughorn's dinner, creeping up slowly towards the door. I hesitate, oh god, I'm late, aren't I? I'll be the last one in. They'll all stare at me. Shaking a little, I raise my hand and turn to the doorknob, swinging the door open and stepping inside. My eyes fall immediately on a large round table, a few people, including Slughorn and Harry, have already sat down, while a few places are still empty. The room is filled with a mirky, yet warm and comfortable light. I gulp, forcing a smile as they look over at me. 

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