Jamies POV
Me and chase got to my place to find my dads tour bus in the drive way."great the whole gangs here." I mumble under my breath my grandpa and uncle came out."Jamie!" they ran to me."look if your gunna yell at me you dont need to Ronnie did it."walking past them into the house."chase I'm sorry about today..."i looked at him. All he did was wrapped his arms around me that's all I needed was to be held."hey ill see you tomorrow.i love you."giving me a kiss on my head and left with that.i walk to the back door to smoke..yeah yeah that's a bad habit.i promise I would stop but its not like I use to smoke it was worst year ago I finished a box of cigarettes in a day now I last a box for a month or two." hi!you must be jenny!"a girl came up to me hugging me who the fuck is this"get her off me! get her off.get the fuck off!"Ryan took the girl off me."thanks.and its Jamie.don't ever hug me."looking at her."wow.your dad didn't tell me you were a bitch."she rolled her eyes."what are you, his whore no wait error the bands whore." making sure it didn't sound like a question.turned to the back door to get away from,everyone for once.never knew being alone was nice,i use to hate the lonely feeling but now I guess when you get bullied and no ones really around you get use to the feeling.i walked to the back yard to my favorite spot under the tree where me and Ronnie use sit when I was younger...i lit my cig and puffed it and rolling up my sleeves to reveal my cuts and burns...wow aren't I a monster...but people made me into this person they put it on me..but for some odd reason I fucking hate this I never like the self harming shit it was stupid to me..but who am i i to talk i use to do...and struggle to stop."hey Jamie?"voice sounded familiar I rolled down my sleeves back down.ill like to wear shorts sleeves without caring..."Jamie what was all that about inside?" i looked up to see it was Jacky missed hanging out with him he's the only one I would keep contact with."what you mean?" I looked at him puffing out the smoke."with Cristina ." he looked at me."so she has a name."I chuckled he shook his head showing that charming boy smirk he has and when his eyes sparkle what makes girls fall for him.he's a great guy to be honest. "you haven't changed a bit."he smiled I chuckled well then ass.He sat next me."how you been?" he took out his cig and light it up I looked down throwing my cig out."okay I guess despite your sperm donor decides to come see you and hasn't contacted you since you were 6 I say crappy!"I laughed..awkwardly. Jacky looked at the lights hanging from the tree puffing the smoke out."yeah today was pretty crazy...and the whole dad thing I don't know what I can say."he turned his head to face me."you look like your mum every time!its creepy!" he laughed shaking his head I nudged him softly. I turned my attention to the birds...i don't want to be compare to her yeah she's my mum but I never met or seen her..."hey...I'm sorry forgot you didn't like that."he hugged me tight.his hugs are the best thing.something I missed and his hair he-he smells like coconut and strawberries I smiled til Ronnie came out. "hey Jacky can you go...i want to talk to her alone."Jacky gave me a small smile."good luck kiddo" and left me and Ronnie alone to "talk"."remember we use to hangout here all night.."his voice started to fade.use to."yeah..til the day you left me here...without a goodbye or a reason.."I looked at the ground he's not worth my pain or tears...i can play this act I've done for years now I can keep pretending.."Jamie..its not like I wanted to..go you know I loved you-" I looked at him cutting him off at his sentence"loved as in past tense you use to..yeah well then why come back huh?I don't fucking need you!you where never there.so leave..i don't need a father..get...get yo-your band and her out..."stuttering looking away...and doing the weakest pussies thing ever running.."Jamie!" he yelled..i don't care anymore after 11 or 10 years of him not being in my life I don't care!..i ran inside to see everyone in the kitchen."hey Jamie you okay?"Jenna asked.that was it,i broke into tears...my weakness the thing i promise not to is cry i let myself down..."I'm fine.."i ran upstairs to my room plotting myself in my bed face down crying all the pain i hide for so long...it felt nice tho...i heard a knock at my door..."go away..please!" i sat up facing the other way.having my back against the door.but the door open."Ronnie i said leave!"i yelled to see...Cristina..."oh..sorry.."i looked away. She smiled a small one coming over to me."can i sit?"she asked i nod.."why the tears princess?"she looked at me and then my wrist....i looked down i forgot to cover up!..i rushed to cover it..."hey you don't need to hide it..you have your reasons and story and there's nothing wrong with it..nor healthy though.."she looked me in the eyes."your not mad..or call me freak..."i looked at her...shook her head..and smiles i don't know what took over me but i just wanted to be held on and just hugged her..surprisingly she held me..to be held by someone it felt nice safe warm like a mothers hug..i like it."thank you..."i mumbled..my grandpa and Ronnie came upstairs with shocked faces i giggled at there face Jenna did to."your smiling!"my grandpa pointed i thought for a sec huh?.."oh i guess i am."i kept smiling."but how..its been so long since you have?"he looked at Cristina and smiled i looked at her to she her smiling to."Ron-dad!"i ran to hug him..he held me tight like old times i miss him.his smell.his hugs.him."I'm sorry..dad..im sorry.."i mumbled in his chest he just held me."I'm sorry I'm not going anywhere im going to be here for you...i need you in my life your my princess...come with me..please"he whispered...what i let go of him."go?go where?"i looked at him crazy.."on tour live with me Jen and the guys."he smiled.."i-i cant go.."i looked at him and then at my uncle and grandpa..i cant leave chase either..."why not your grandpa and uncle say its fine...is it that boy?"he asked looking at me..."this is my home town..my home.."i looked down.."Jaime you'll find a guy later on in life guys at your age only want sex not love.your only 17."he said.."no..that's not...Chase is not like that."i stuttered
Ronnie POV
Cristina looked at me and rolled her eyes "what did I do this time?"I chuckled at her she looked at me and stormed outside to the bus."what the fuck happened?"Ryan asked i shrugged my shoulders what i was telling Jaime the truth no boy at their age wants love and cuddles the all want to get in a girls pants i walk to the bathroom seeing if jen was there."hey babe?"she open the door and gave me her disappointed face."ronnie go apolagies to her she needs a dad not a stranger."she walked off to the bus im guessing.maybe shes right.i didnt come here to piss jams off.she needs me.i went to the back yard to see her smoking a cig under our tree looking down a paper."hey jams"calling out her nickname.
jaime's POV
i drop the cig after my last puff shoving the picture in my pocket."what?!"i snared turning my back."can we talk for real now.dad to daughter?"he asked sitting next to me."look im sorry about today okay..i know ive been a toatal ass and what i said up there was past the line but im just trying to keep you safe..you know your my little princess-'he said taking a breath in after some senteces 'look Ronnie im not your princess never will be sinve you left.and why dont you leave and get on the bus with the band and that girl of yours and go on with your life.noit like youll remeber me anyways.i dont need be hurt again..go be like mum!not like neither of you two want me!"i screamed through tears thats all i want to let out all my pain out."you dont give a fuck about me!im 16 its been years since you called me why now?why bother with me now?you fucker!get the fuck out..i dont need you..i dont need any of you."i looked at him seeing how hurt he was by my words i dont care he needs to know.i turned to run away again like i always d but he pulled me into a tight hug like he used to."Jaime Alexandria Radke born in december 16 1997 at 3 am 4 pounds nearly died i was the first to hold you you where born in vegas you had your mums eyes and lips you haver our attitudes you have her heart the way you stutter when you get shy and how you hide your emotions to have no one worry JAime i know everything about you im your dad.dont say i dont love you cause i wasnt there i always will and always have.
