"Nothin." He shrugs. "Wanna come over to my house for a bit?"
"Yeah sure."
I grab my phone and follow Jahseh out of my room, through the house and down the road to his place. Isiahs car is here, thank god.
"Hey Jah!" I hear London call from the couch as we enter.
"What about me?" I chuckle.
"Oh my god!! My baby!" She jumps up and runs over to me, throwing her arms around me.
"I love you." I laugh at her.
"I love you too. But um what the fuck are you doing with jahseh?"
"He spent the night." I shrug.
"Oh girl. You guys are fucking again?" She raises her eye brows at me as I fake gag.
"Fuck that. We're friends."
"I see you."
"Kenn come here!" Jahseh yells from upstairs. London and I give each other a look before I head up to jahsehs room. "I want you to listen to my album."
"Okay." Jahseh sits me down on the bed before turning his tv on and clicking on Spotify. "What one first?"
"Mmmm Ayala." I answer.
"Um. Okay." Jahseh hesitates.
(Okay So also in this mf book Ayala isn't Geneva's last name or whatever aight)
He plays it and instantly I hear calming piano. I glance over at him, giving him a look. This is extremely different for him.
She showed me fake love cant forget, how it hurt
Made a list of my regrets, and you were the first love
When the song ends I stay sitting, staring at the tv. I process everything he said. Was it about me? Fake love? Regret? Jahseh stays silent. He knows what I'm thinking.
"Is it?" I ask quietly.
"It's about you." He answers. I nod and feel a familiar lump in my throat. Tears prick my eyes so I squeeze them shut. Does he actually mean this shit? "Kenna." He puts his hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off.
"You actually feel this way?" I ask, pain present in my voice.
"I was upset."
I stand up and turn around, looking down at him. "Fuck you."
"Why? Because I can't fucking express my feelings? Am I supposed to keep them inside til i fucking die?" Jahseh stands up, getting loud.
"You regret me." I look to the ground.
"I regret a lot of shit."
"You think it was fucking fake?!" My sadness instantly switches to anger. I look back up at Jahseh with dark eyes. "Fuck. You!" I push him. I swing my fist but he blocks me.
"Stop." He says calmly.
"No!" I scream loud. "I'm done with this shit. We need to go back to not giving a fuck about each other." I demand.
"No."
"Jah you home!"
Her voice rings through my head. I question if I'm just hearing shit. I hear the front door shut and I know I'm not hearing shit this time.
"Are you serious?" I hiss at Jahseh. "What the FUCK!"
"Kenn it's not-"
"You could go to jail! Do you forget what fucking happened? No, I'm fucking done. Don't try to fucking talk to me." I storm away from Jahseh and run down the stairs.
Nine.
Start from the beginning
