• p e r f u m e •

1. p a r a n o i d

"Oh" I said and nodded.

Why would he go to the restaurant alone? and why was he in a hurry at all?

"He didn't tell you about it again right?" Hailey snapped me out and I bit my lower lip nervously and nodded.

"When I left work, he said he told me not to cook dinner for him since he was hungry and wanted to eat something right away. And there wasn't even a scheduled dinner with any partners or something today" I said.

"Bells, how long are you gonna keep trying to figure out stuff like this, I'm telling you, the stuff he's been doing is absolutely weird and you need to confront him about it" She said and I nodded.

"Maybe its not something bad but he needs to tell you whatever that is going on cos its been a while since he's acting like weirdo" She said.

"Yeah, I guess I'll talk to him tonight" I said.

"Okay, forget that now, lets eat, I'm so hungry!" She said.

Before starting to have the dinner, I left Justin a text:

'Please come home early today, there's something important we need to talk about'

He kept asking me what is that about but I told him, I can only talk face to face.

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It was 10 pm when I finally heard the door unlock and Justin came in. His jacket was draped over his arm and I stood up and walked to him and took the jacket and keys from him.

"Hey, what did you want to talk about?" He asked immediately.

"You just got here Justin, aren't we supposed to kiss and ask each other how was the day even when we work together, just like we used to a while before?" I said.

"Hey, of course, I just asked because you said its important and didn't even give me a clue, I got a bit tensed" He said and grabbed my arms and pulled me closer.

"Why? What do you think I wanna talk about?" I said and he looked confused and tensed as he tried to search for a clue on my face.

"Bell, what's the matter?" He said.

"There is no matter, I just wanna talk, you are the one who's unnecessarily tensed" I said.

He exhaled deeply and shook his head before cupping my cheek.

"You know what, we can talk about that later" He said and started leaning in to kiss me but I placed my hand against his chest and stopped him.

"Where were you?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Seriously? You just asked me to kiss you and now you stopped me and asked me that, of course I was at work Bella" He said.

"I called Hailey over, she got us dinner from the Chinese restaurant she said she met you there and you seemed to be in a hurry" I said and he face dropped.

"Well y-yeah, I got myself some noodles from there" He said.

"You told me you were going to eat right away and if you weren't, you could've just told me to cook, you know I would've" I said.

He smiled again and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Babe, you looked quiet tired too, I didn't wanna bother you and also you-

"Justin are you hiding something from me?" I cut him off and got to the main question straight and he didn't speak for a couple seconds.

"Hiding?" He said and I nodded.

"Yes, anything, if you are, you know you can tell me" I said.

"No Bella, I'm not hiding anything from you why'd you think that?" He said, pulling away a little.

"You tell me why. Its been so weird between us lately, and now its really starting to bother me!" I said, feeling the tears prick the back of my eyes.

"Weird?! What is weird here Bella? That I went to a restaurant without telling you? Is that too weird?" He said, pulling his arms off me.

"Yes, also you leaving so early in the morning and coming home so late, I set your schedule Justin, and I know there isn't as much work as you make it seem to be. Tell me the last time we sat peacefully and just talked? Forget kissing or anything else! We haven't had a conversation other than work or 'Justin when are you coming home?' and 'Will you be having dinner at home today?'" I said, the tears now threatening to fall.

"So you think I'm lying when I say I have work?" He said.

"That's what I'm asking you, tell me what's going on?" I said and grabbed his hand but he flicked me away.

"Nothing is going on Bella! its pathetic that you even think that and once the work load reduces, I'll give you all the time you want!" He said, his voice raising 

"When!? when will this be over?! Its been three months now, how long do I have to wait till I can spend the normal amount of time with you like we used to?" I said.

"Bella look, I'm too tired, I don't think I can argue about this right now. Just let's go sleep" He said and started to walk away.

By the time I wiped all my tears away and stopped crying and went to our bedroom, he had already gotten in the bed.

Without saying anything else, I did the same and slept facing away from him.

I waited for a long time. For a long time, hoping that he'd wrap his arms around me any moment and say sorry but he didn't.

It feels like its been forever since I've felt his touch, or just his mere presence around me either. He's might be there with me physically but mentally, he always seems lost somewhere else.

How am I not supposed to think that something is wrong when he reminds me of it every second.

I really tried to convince myself that its nothing for so long but I just can't take this distance anymore.

It's like we're miles apart even when we're next to each other. And I've almost forgotten the warm feeling of his love. 

And there's one huge question that I even deny the possibility of but its always floating around me, sending chills down my spine. 

And as much as I want to ask him that, I'm afraid the answer won't be what I expect it to be.

But I don't know how long I can keep swallowing those words...

"Are you cheating on me?" My shaky voice whispered and got no response. I managed to fall asleep to the sound of his steady breathing.

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whew this is gonna be a rough one

but I hope ya'll liked the first chapter?

should I continue?

do vote and comment to keep me going peeps!

-Love, S