the way my story goes

monday

Dear Diary,
I never really understood why people wrote diaries, or how they could be bothered to remember and record everything that had occurred on that day. Why would you want to remember? Don't people say it's best to look to the future anyways? How do you manage to make it sound so interesting? Putting all of your feelings into one entry, with no one else to listen but yourself if you were to wonder who you used to be. Feeding words onto blank pages won't make you feel any better about what you did or didn't do. Or does it? I wouldn't know, I haven't tried it until now. But it's making me feel more distant, as I read my words back. Now I feel like I'm writing a book, or a poem.. And maybe I am? I didn't plan to be serious about this, but if I can't talk to anyone about without thinking I sound stupid, then why not write it down? I've predicted that I have 4 days to live so I'm going to record those days here, like I'm telling someone else's story. I'll pretend it's not mine.