Stuck In The Closet (a life story)

started in sixth grade #1

STORY NUMERO UNO

alrighty hoe so if you read the blurb of the book, it is very much true because I do indeed go to an all girls private high school in New Zealand !!!!

something about my parents wanting to keep me away from the boys???? yeah, hahah no. I will WILLINGLY stay away from them, nice try, mum but I'm gay.

i've been going to this school since 6th grade and I have been LIVING bitch lemme tell you, sending me to this school was the dumbest yet best thing that my parents have ever done to me god bless them

like can you imagine being constantly surrounded in girls???? every day???? but like not just any girls cause i literally go to the best all girls private high school in the "state" so these girls are all: pretty (like really fucking pretty I wanna cry every time I see them), smart, they all fucking smell good like babe what perfume are you using damn, athletic as fuck (we're probably one of the best schools for sports in the South Island, maybe even the nation???) and RICH!!!! BITCH EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOL IS HELLA LOADED!!!! like I could literally pick any girl and she could be my sugar mama for the rest of my life I'm telling you they're all loaded or at the school on a full-ride academic scholarship !!!!!!! And I cannot stress enough how sexy intelligence is !!!!!!!1!1!1!1!!!!

So yeah, I'm living my best life as a closeted gay at my school.

But I'm also living my worst.

You see, I started at this school in sixth grade, alongside other kids, one of them being my current best friend today. For future references, let's call her pancakes, alright? Cause bitch, we're gonna be talking about her A LOT

Pancakes is hands down one of my best friends in the entire world. She's so kindhearted, and so nice, the way her brain works is so amazing, she's smart as fuck. Like I love talking to her, talking is so easy when it comes to her like I could talk to her for hours and hours without stopping because there's not a single boring conversation when I'm with her. She's really good at sports, her parents are, surprise surprise, very well-off but she doesn't let it get to her head.

We're almost like the same person, but completely different, do you know what I mean? Like for example: we have the same music taste, but she doesn't play any instruments and can't sing while I can play like 5 and basically perform to get that cash money you know what I'm saying ;)))). We both play sports but she does gymnastics and can dance really fucking well while I play basketball, football, and volleyball but I can't dance for shit and I can barely do a roley-poley.

But we do have the exact same sense of humour and we love to roast the shit out of the snobby ass people in our grade and dude I love cracking jokes just to hear her laugh like the sound of her laugh is fucking music to my ears. Like the way her brown eyes crinkle at the sides before she smiles widely and tilts her head back a little while letting out a loud laugh, covering her mouth with her hand afterwards in embarrassment. What she was embarrassed about is beyond me because her smile and laugh are literal perfection like I swear to god if you see it or hear it your grades will be lifted, your acne will be cleared and you'll have money in the bank like her smile seriously life changing in a good way. She always looks me in the eyes when she laughs and it melts me because even though her eyes are brown, holy shit, I've never seen such beautiful brown eyes in my entire life. They're so soft and welcoming and when she laughs they sparkle so bright man like you'd probably need a supernova to compete with her eyes like goddamn.

So, as you can see, just by reading those previous paragraphs, you probably know why I am living my best life but also my worst life. And if you don't? I'll break it down for you:

I'm in love with my best friend.

I am fucking in love with my best fucking friend since sixth grade. My best fucking friend who happens to be (presumably) fucking straight. Fuck.

and I thought it was just a silly crush that would be gone by the time we got older and time passed but nOPE here we are five years later and I'm writing a whole chapter in my gay book about her.

so yeah, I have A LOT of stories to tell about pancakes and about the girls at my all girls school but those are for another day

thanks for reading see u maybe in the next chapter xxxx love you and appreciate you all xxxxx you're beautiful and you're loved stay safe always and if you're going through anything, don't worry it will pass!!!! everything will be okay soon, promise you!!!!! xxxx