No Strings Attached

Chapter 14

It's not that I didn't want him to be gay, if that's who he truly was, but I just didn't want him to be gay. You know?

Instead of listening to how John Locke inspired the formation of America's Constitution in government class, I sneakily looked up on my phone how to tell if someone is gay without asking them. Basically, it required a bunch of assumptions, and knowing the guy for a while. So that didn't really help me out.

What was I gonna do? I could've been crushing on a boy I could never have had a remote chance with.

Then I realized how ridiculous I was being. I'll figure it out eventually, I decided, and tried to leave it at that. But I couldn't help but wonder...

Approaching him in the hallway after school was awkward internally. I'd spent the entire afternoon obsessing over his sexual orientation and he was clueless. And there I was facing him.

"Hey," I stuttered casually. "Should we do some work today for chemistry or our other project today? Or maybe some other time?"

He nodded. "If you're not busy, we could spend some time on both at my apartment."

I smiled cheerfully. "Okay. See you soon." I turned around to head to the exit, but he grabbed my arm.

"Why don't I, uh, walk with you?" he offered.

I blushed. "Um, okay."

We awkwardly headed to the door together, both of us trying to think of something to talk about.

"How do we want to approach our...other project?" he asked once we were outside.

I shrugged. "I figured that maybe I could watch you and see if there is a correlation between what you're doing and when it starts. But that might be a waste of time."

"No," he said immediately. "That's a really good idea, Tegan. High five." He held out his hand in front of him with his palm up.

I gently clapped mine against his. I couldn't help but notice his hands were really soft and warm. I blushed and looked down at my feet.

He didn't say anything for a moment. I became hyperaware of the traffic on the street and the birds singing in the trees and the city noise of Boston. Even my footsteps were amidst the bustle.

He took in some air and got out really quickly, "My dad and brother are probably going to ask about you. I don't usually bring people to the house. Especially...girls."

I tried to hide my grin. "That's okay. I don't mind."

The awkward silence set in again, but soon we were at the entrance to the complex. To my horror he approached the elevator.

Should I tell him I'd use the stairs? I sure as hell can't go on that thing with him. What if he thinks I'm weird? What if he makes me go on the elevator? I can't do it. He can't make me.

"Whoa, Tegan, are you okay?" Logan asked, holding my shoulders.

I suddenly did feel lightheaded. And my mouth got dry.

"You got really pale just now, and you started breathing weird," he said quietly, sounding genuinely concerned. "And you look completely terrified."

"Elevator," I managed to whisper. But it sounded like I was being suffocated, and it was barely audible.

He looked behind him at the metal machine of death. "What? What's wrong with it?"

I shook my head vigorously. I still didn't want to move."