Short Stories with No Particular Genre

Rapunzel's Unfortunate Mistake

It was a bright, sunny day. The leaves were green, the birds were chirping beautifully, and the flowers were in full bloom. "Perfect," Rapunzel said, not at all referring to the fantastic scenery outside, but rather the horrifying beast she had just drawn on her computer. Contrary to popular belief, she was quite happy living secluded with unlimited internet access. That was not all. She had her own minifridge, 4K flat screen TV, and basically anything else she wanted.

Rapunzel stood up from her masterpiece and walked to the massive window of her fiftieth-floor penthouse "prison" to look over the city below her. One of her favorite past times was to watch large birds of prey attack animals and people in the massive park near her building. On occasion, she enjoyed watching car crashes. This particular moment in front of the window was to watch for Mother Gothel's return from H&M (now famous for its racial controversy). Coincidentally, she was walking into the building as soon as Rapunzel had reached the window.

A horrible screech came over the apartment's PA system saying, "Rapunzel, I want to come up! Let down your hair!" Typically, when Mother Gothel called for Rapunzel to let her hair down, it was so she could attach it to the elevator to be lifted to the suite. This time, however, Rapunzel wanted to play a game, so she replied with "No thank you. There's Wi-Fi up here."

Mother Gothel persisted, but Rapunzel was being exceptionally cruel today and would not, under any circumstances, let Gothel up. She had to climb all fifty flights of extremely steep service stairs that led to a hidden entrance to the apartment. At first, Rapunzel thought she had won and had no idea what Gothel was going to do. Eventually, however, she could hear the disgusting screeches and grunts of Gothel coming from a gigantic painting of her in a throne of money with two jacked, shirtless guys on either side of her.

Because of this interesting development, Rapunzel used her radioactive spider powers to climb above the painting and wait. She gathered her hair and fashioned a loop. She waited for like 45 minutes or something I don't really know. Mother Gothel's super old self took forever to climb the stairs, but finally she slowly opened the painting-door and peaked her head in to look for the rebellious hellion. She walked in further and was suddenly being strangled by Rapunzel's hair-noose. She stood there struggling for a moment attempting to remove the super matted, super gross, and super definitely twenty-eight-year-old hair from her neck, but to no avail.

She finally died and fell to the floor. Rapunzel jumped from her spot on the wall and slammed into the floor like the Hulk. She felt no regret for what she had done because, although she loved being trapped in an amazing penthouse suite, it's pretty weird to be twenty-eight and live with a probably nine-billion-year-old lady. She picked up the random rocket launcher ex Machina that was conveniently placed about five feet away from the corpse and eviscerated the gigantic window.

Rapunzel picked up Mother Gothel's basically already a skeleton body and walked over to the window to throw her to the street below. Unfortunately, as the title suggests, she made a mistake. She tripped on her unbelievably long and super gross hair and fell out of the window. As she fell 500 feet she thought to herself, "I probably deserved this. Oh well, I don't really care." Instead of splatting onto the ground and instantly dying like you probably thought she would, she landed in a magic trash can. You know the ones that the homeless people stand around and make fires in? Yeah, one of those. Her life ended when she turned into a pear.