04

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by lucivre

by lucivre

A/n!: Please don't listen to the song until I say to! Thank you!!!

I calmed myself as I heard Richie coming up the stairs. I wiped my tears and stared at the wall, feeling worthless and unwanted. "Hey, Sugartits! Where were we?" He asked, smirking. I shrugged silently. "Hey? What's wrong? He asked. I shrugged again, swallowing hard. He doesn't love me, at all. I'm just a rebound. "Do-" "Can it, Trashmouth," I spat harshly. He flinched at my outburst. "What the hell did I fucking do!?" he yelled. I jumped up, "I don't fucking know, maybe leave me here and answer your fucking girlfriend's phone call and flirt with her while you're doing me!!!" I screamed. I melted down and grabbed my hair, tears falling from my face as flashbacks repeated themselves. James. James. James! "JAMES!" I sobbed. "Who the hell is James?!" He asked. I looked up, shattered. My vision began to blur as well as my breath shallowing before I was swallowed by darkness.

*-_THIS IS AN ACTUAL FLASHBACK FROM MY PAST_-*

I had just moved to Washington State and I wasn't the happiest. I missed my "Friends," and I missed my family. Why? Well, this 8-year-old girl is pretty stupid, I guess. My family had little money at this point, therefore we were staying in a freaking hotel room for months. I was going to a shitty school, filled with shitty people. I was going to Parkview Elementary. I had no friends and I was such a fucking loser! My stupid face and my stupid outfits, god! "This is our new student! y/n! Tell us a little bit about yourself?" "Okay. I'm literally the same as everyone else, I'm a stupid 8-year-old little girl, there's really not much to explain," I said. "Nice! You can sit by Sonally, She'll be your guide!" She exclaimed. (I can't remember that teacher's name, but she was kinda awesome, she basically let you do anything you wanted to!) I took my seat next to the girl by the name Sonally. She was gorgeous, and oddly, looked just like me, just prettier really. She had my features and my humor, she had my eyes and my hair too. As I got to know her, we became best friends and my life wasn't too shitty, to be honest. I learned we had the same birthday as well! and we were born at the same time! 2:45 pm. I began to think, was she one of the seven people in the world that looked like me? That would be so cool...

But, like everything in my life, it didn't last. I had been sitting in my "Friend" group when they started talking about s*x, and yes, I knew what it was since I don't have the greatest filtered family. I didn't say anything, I just sat there and listened, trying to tune them out and failing. The bell then rang and they said to keep quiet and never speak of it again. I nodded and we went inside.

The next day in the middle of P.E, I was called to the councilors office. I was confused of why but assumed it was just about where I was staying. I opened the door and closed it behind me, sitting down when I realized all of my friends were there, looking down at there hands that were placed in their laps. I looked confused. "So, You obviously know what you're here for today, yes?" I shook my head 'no' and response. She sighed angrily. "Liar! you started a conversation about s*x and forced these girls to talk about there sexual encounters! you're a filthy brat!" She yelled through gritted teeth. I had tears in my eyes and I furrowed my eyebrows together and gritted my teeth. "You know what?! Fine! Think that! I don't give a crap! You should know the truth though!" I yelled. They were all staring at me by now. "YOU! YOU STUPID BRATS! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU! You were the ones who forced ME to tell you that Stuff! I really thought you were my friends, but I guess all you wanted was to use me as your sad excuse, you told me to keep my mouth shut or else you were going to do something bad to me," I screamed.

"I'm fed up with being your stupid cover-up," I said, walking out and slamming the door behind me. I walked into my classroom and grabbed my things, walking straight out of that hell-hole. I walked to the hotel I'd been staying at. my parents were in there so I just told them that I was sick so the school sent me home. They luckily believed it. I then locked myself in the bathroom when they went to pick up my siblings at the bus stop.

_____TIME SKIP TO JAMES____

I had moved into an apartment complex, in a school district, Nothern H. Elementary. I wasn't allowed to go as far as the park yet, which sucked, but I still played outside. That's when I met him. James. I was not happy with my life until I met him. As a year and a half passed, I was 10 and I knew James very well, and he made me so happy. It was 7:30. It was almost night time, the sky was a dark blue and I was looking at the stars. "Y/n...Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I was surprised when he asked, I always had a crush on him, I just didn't know he liked me back. "Y-yes I will," I replied. As another year passed, we were still strong. He would always take me to this place...He would put an arm around my shoulders and we'd watch the sunset. I was then told my mom was Pregnant with her fifth kid. I had 3 other siblings, well, 5 now. I had the best people around me. I loved them too dearly...Cali, Wendy, Basil, Emma, Marjay, Nathaniel, Rori, Savannah, Jazmyne, Layla, and Saorsia. I had more, but those were the best.

That's when something devastating happened. after one and a half years of being with James and having the best things in the world, after actually being happy, It came to an end when my parents announced we were moving. Away from everything...Everything I ever wanted and loved. That leads to now. When I was 12, I texted Basil and he'd told me...That James didn't remember me. He never remembered the hours and weeks we'd spent together. The two years we'd spent together. So I became closed. I became depressed. That leads me here. A 13-year-old shattered girl with horrible trust issues and depression.

*-_END OF FLASH BACK_-*

"Y/n...Y/n! Wake up!" Richie? My eyes fluttered open. My vision came out blurry but slowly focused until I saw a puffy, red-eyed Richie next to me. "What's wrong?" I asked. "You're awake!" He crashed his lips into mine and butterflies erupted in my stomach. He pulled away smiling. "What happened?" I asked. "I don't fucking know, you just froze and your eyes rolled back and you shook very quickly, and you...Stopped breathing..." he said. Tears streaming down his face again. Damn it! I thought I got rid of those! "Oh, Don't worry, Rich! There just seizures, I had them all the time when I was little; I thought I got rid of 'em, I guess not,"

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Hey, Y'all! Thanks for the reads!!!!!!!!!!!! This was a long chapter, as promised. I hope you liked it!!!!!! 'til next time, heavenly children!!!!!!

-Lils