1 | Almost Happy ▷ Sam Wilson | ✓

2 - A HEART MADE TO BE BROKEN

Adjusting his the collar of his button-up shirt, Nicky stepped out of his room, holding his breath as he looked around, bracing himself for the person he had been anxiously waiting, and dreading, to see again.

However, and he wasn't sure if it was fortunate or not, he only caught sight of Steve Rogers who was whispering softly to Rhett, pinning him against the back of the couch, the position an antithesis to the otherwise innocent expressions on both of the men's faces.

Nicky looked away, uncomfortable with seemingly looking in on an intimate moment between the men, clearing his throat. "How's it going, Cap?"

Steve turned to look at him, smiling and pulling away from Rhett who was too focused on Nicky to make any form of protest. "I'm good, Nick, how are you?"

Nicky glanced around the room, as if the other person they had been expecting would just jump out. "I'm alright, thanks."

Steve gave him an apologetic smile. "Sam wanted me to tell you that he's sorry he couldn't make it. He'd been pulling extra hours at work and he didn't want to come by in a bad mood, it wouldn't be fair, he said."

Nicky let out a sigh of relief despite himself, nodding. "I'm glad he was able to make that decision for himself, that-that's really good."

Steve took a step forward, holding out his hands. "You okay, Nick?"

Nicky nodded numbly, the relief washing over him in waves. Sam Wilson. That was a name that he had heard ever since high school, but a face he hadn't seen in person since then. Of course, he had seen him on the TV speaking out against racial inequality, taking over whenever Steve had become overwhelmed in his pure anger, speaking so eloquently and dignified. And there were always the various headlines and news about the Avengers, though that had been disbanded for almost a year now.

Needless to say, Sam was always on his mind, yet the thought of seeing him again filled him with more dread than would be expected. After all, he had been in love with him since he was sixteen, one would think he'd be ecstatic to finally see him again.

But the thing about Sam Wilson was Nicky had no idea why he cared for him so much. He had never been able to wrap his head around how easily it was for him to wax poetic about how amazing he was and why he perked up at even just the briefest of mentions of him. Why his heart hurt when the rumors of him and Steve dating had been floating around during that period of time before Steve eloquently put them to rest, possibly the only press conference dealing with "controversial" issues that he was able to fully speak through; the man had a habit of cursing out rude reporters, then apologizing and offering to by them coffee and educate them.

But where Steve had to try to keep his cool, Sam never had to try, he always just was. Always a rational head on his shoulders and Nicky loved him for it. Ever since they were in high school, the man was always one that Nicky could just turn to and swoon because he was, for all intents and purposes, perfect.

Yet he could never understand why he was so afraid of seeing him again.

"Wow," Steve said, blinking, "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about him, I always thought it was more of a joke than anything."

Nicky groaned, feeling a headache forming. "Did I seriously just say everything out loud?"

Rhett nodded, standing up and walking over, feeling his forehead. "Well, you're not sick, but this tends to happen when you start thinking about Sam, so it's nothing we should worry about."

Nicky swatted his hand away half-heartedly, feeling way too tired for someone who had woken up completely energized. He looked over at Steve who gave him a small smile, shrugging and inclining his head, trying to convey a message that Nicky received, but couldn't translate into words.

"It's odd to see you so serious," the blond said, still trying to smile in an effort to get the man to do the same, "You're usually always smiling. Though, I guess, that can get hard when there's nothing to smile about."

Nicky's breath caught on the last part, his own words echoing in his mind. He forced them away, biting his lip and blinking back tears; he was not about to cry in front of Captain America, he would never forgive himself.

He forced himself to smile, the familiar tug upwards feeling awkward, as if it was moving more out than out, gauging how well he was doing by Steve's reaction; the man's smile had fallen and he was looking at Nicky with barely concealed concern.

"You don't always have to smile," Steve said, glancing over to Rhett who was just watching the scene unfold with a blank expression, "It's okay."

Nicky shook his head. "No, it's not. I-I have to keep smiling."

Steve didn't ask why. A man with his own demons, he knew better than to ask someone to show him their own. So he just nodded and moved forward, squeezing Nicky's shoulders before raising his hands and pushing away the strained smile.

Nicky sighed, running a hand over his jaw as the smile returned not a moment later, no feeling behind it, but a habitual need. That was the thing about him that baffled so many people; even if he was sad, he was smiling. Even when his heart was aching and begging and pleading for want of something he couldn't have, he was smiling as wide and as well as he could, because his smile was everything about him.

When people look at Nicky, the first thing they see is his jaw. If one were to ask, they would all say that he had a jaw that was made for smiling.

But Nicky Green also had a heart. A heart that was made to be broken.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I nearly cried writing this chapter, not gonna lie, I hurt my son so much, I wish I didn't have to do this to him. But, I mean, I had planned on killing him off in Infinity War, but I'm adamantly refusing to acknowledge Infinity War in my stories, so he's safe.

Sorry for no Sam in this chapter, I tried writing him in, but it just didn't work out, so I've decided to have a more cliche meeting for them, get ready, it's gonna be cute as all hell, I'm so excited.

For those who don't know, Terran Sweets is an upcoming character in my Natasha fic, which will be coming out in a few months, so you're just getting a taste of him now and will get to dive in later this year.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!